Demon on the side of my bed

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I got an apartment. Well my father bought it for me.
A long time ago...
I barely spend time here unless I want to be alone. But it never really works.

Those stupid thoughts always follow me.
I put the keys on the kitchen counter as I sigh.

Immediately opening the fridge. I only want food in this life. Just good food.
And luckily Katy refills the fridge all the time.

Coca Cola it is. I jump on the couch and feel like sinking in it. The memories came back to me.

I met evil when I was only a child.

I got diagnosed at a young age. As a child, you don't realise everything. You only think about playing and a bright future.

Mature me would be so disappointed. But that's what life's about.

My mom kept it a secret. My dad could never find out. She would take me to my therapist which became a psychologist.

Mom would take me to the hospital. Feeding my dad lies. Knowing damn well he wouldn't tolerate a crazy child.

Me, being young, didn't think much of it. Until years passed by and I grew up. I toughened up.

I felt better. Just for a split second, I felt happy.
Until my dad realised. He kicked me out.

Left me alone with a former apartment of his. He forbade my mom to contact me.

A crazy child.
His own child.

Don't even mention the fact he put me in an asylum. Yeah...it wasn't fun at all. That psychologist? He resulted into a psychiatrist.

It worsened. After I got out, I didn't have any money. That's why I got that job at the market.
Principal Rochella helped me too.

The woman really tried to keep up with me. But I'm tiring. She has her own life.

I couldn't lean on anybody. So, I learned to be alone. Live for myself. And not care about dying.

Then he brought me back. My mom died. That was the last time I cried. She did all those things for me and I couldn't even say goodbye.

She was all I had. When she left, my emotions died with her.

That park? My mom took me there after my treatments. Just a park...yes...

I gulped the Coca Cola in a minute. Squinting my eyes at the gas. Not as bad as vodka, I guess.

I feel disgusting. I just do. So, I put the empty can on the marble table and took a long shower.

I wanted to stay here for a long time, but I also wanted to get out of the warm water after 5 minutes.

Wiping the foggy mirror, I look at myself. I still felt disgusting.
Do you know that feeling when you look at yourself, but you don't see yourself?

Why...Why am I like this?

Because you're a nobody...

I got angry. So motherfucking furious that I punched the hell out of that mirror.
My knuckles as bloody as a cherry.

But I didn't care. It felt good. Seeing my broken reflection in the shattered glass.
It was like I destroyed myself.

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