His blurred eyes

Clothed shower

"I know you want to do it."

I'm drunker than I've ever been, and I enjoyed it. Especially with the new friend I've made. Or enemy...
Whatever it is...

"Do it."
I grip the safe. It contains a gun. It's been there for a while. I've always imagined pointing it to my head and blowing this crazy brain.

I don't know the password. That's the only thing between our connection.
"Open it."

I punch it and punch it repeatedly. My knuckles that were supposed to be healing were used again and it hurt.

"Come on Nova!"
A demonic scream came out of me as I do everything in my power to open this goddamn black box.

I want it to end.
It worked.

I take the pitch-black revolver in my dominant hand. The right one. My eyes closing due to the alcohol in my system.

I stumble. Walking up to the mirror. I feel dizzy...
I put the gun to my brain. The demon behind me, staring at me with the biggest smile I've ever seen.

Even worse than Lisa's.
I look at myself for one last time before clicking. And I black out.

It was empty. And that evil motherfucker knew it. He wanted me to feel hope in dying.

And the disappointment of not doing so.

"Nova wake up!!"
What the-

I face Nola. The headache is killing me. She smiles and gives me a pill. I take it without questioning.

The headache worsens as I look around the room. Nothing was broken, no blood on the ground.

Was I dreaming?

"You were drunk as fuck Nova." I grunt. She's going to lecture me, isn't she? She-

"You know I don't like it when you drink. How did you even get a vodka bottle?"

I stop rubbing my eyes. I wasn't dreaming. I didn't get that bottle. He did.

This shit is fucking real...
You got it dude

"Go take a shower. You stink and you have a party to be at, remember?"
I gulp and did what she said. Can't get on her nerves now.

I stay at the entryway for a second. The mirror is not shattered. "Holy fucking shit."

I am actually going crazy. Cold water.  I need cold water.
Come on Nova sober up.

I didn't waste time and just say under the cold water with the clothes on.

A clothed shower.
Accept it...Nova.

I understand you, dad. I am literally crazy. And nothing can help me.
I rock back and forth.

Arms wrapped around my legs. I slept for a solid half day. I just...don't get it.

"There's nothing to 'get'. I'm here and real."
He stood there again.
I shut my eyes, shaking my head.

"Get out of my head. It's not real. No.."
The loud noise of shampoo bottles hitting the floor enter my ears.

"Believe me now, dear?"
I can't do this. Please leave me alone.
"You're no fun."

The shadow disappears as I hyperventilate. What in the hell is this fucking fairytale?

Knock knock knock
"Leave me alone!"

"Nova? you alright?" Shit. It's just Nola.
"Yeah coming!"

I wrap a towel around me. Throwing the wet clothes in the corner. Acting like I've been showering all along.

I join her in the living room. She gives me a coke can and I gulp it down.
"Are you okay?"

Concern is evident in her voice.
"Yeah, why?" I ask. Like a normal person would.

"Just...I came in yesterday and you were drunk and well you.."
Nola couldn't even finish her words. God...what the did I do? Stupid liquor.

"Nola? Continue please.."
"You basically muttered some really fucking weird things Nova..."

You stupid demon. Never get me drunk again.
"What did I say?"

Nola puts her drink down and sighs like she's about announce the death of a famous, celebrity.
"You asked me why you like to sleep so much. I answered that everybody loves their sleep..."

"But your answer to that was...that you like to sleep because it feels like you're dead, Nova.."
I scoff. I barely understood her over the sound of the throbbing pain in my head.

I overshared. It's true. I like sleeping. More than anyone. Because it feels like I'm dead.

My body probably didn't like that idea so it developed insomnia. Fuck you for that.

"I'm worried about you Nova. What you said, that's not normal. Not okay."
I poke my inner cheek. Smiling at her. Fake.

"It's okay Nola. There's beauty in death too."

Friday 11:45 pm

"George will accompany you there." Katy says as she adjusts my black shirt.
"Why? I can just take the bus?"

The old lady shakes her head and pats my shoulder. "Just do as I say...for once."

I preferred she didn't say that.
I feel guilty again.
You're worthless.

The car ride was long. Very quiet too. I am still lost in my thoughts. Trying to put the pieces together.

"George you can just stop here. I'll walk."
He nods at my demanding tone and I step out.

Walking in the darkness. With dim streetlamps. I look at my phone and realise I'm at the location.

I chuckle as I look in front of me with a tilted head.

"Real fun Lisa...real fun!"

Note:
Thank you so much for the immense love!! So so grateful <33