AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

iight no swearing today

"the nicest people go through the most"I am ordinarily not into quotes that go like depressing and dark and blabla stuff, because it's stupid. Nevertheless, that, to be precise, got me to think. I have that one friend (BFF) from when I was 12 that was continuously very kind. So charming I could not consider personalities like her truly existed. She has sorrow momentarily. And she is experiencing despondency. And I can't do anything about it.That quote obtained enormously more understanding to people like me who understand. Has gained experience throughout their environment.

The thing is: I'm concerned. very. Now that I have observed the evidence of that quote I am commencing to feel concerned about my other companions that I have met this school year. Particularly one of them which evokes me of my BFF. She is exceedingly friendly and her past reminds me strongly of my best friend. I'm concerned that she will end up having that sickness and the fear keeps climbing. Not enormously. Simply seldom. I apprehend there is nothing I can prepare against this. I desire to support my BFF who is ill and my other mates who could happen ill. I and not just I don't crave this to appear. but there is zero shit I, as a self who is inadequate at helping, can do anything against it.

Everyone goes through stuff. There are bad days like today and there are weeks of full sadness. We all go through hard times and eventually end up worse or better. However it truly 'ends' in a good way.I would not be the same (awesome ofc) person today if I have not been through these phases of life.

I can imagine being that problematic child from almost 10 years ago where I remember fighting with groups of boys and girls at the park and bringing a knife to school to stab my bully (that might be a different story). I had no friends at that time and I always felt like an outsider. I completely forgot that I was one before. From my problems, I went to stressful and unhappy places when I was 11 or 12 even 13 and 14. From that, I learned my mistakes and begun to change. 

I am not sad about skipping childhood without good times or friends. It sounds a bit off but I kinda am grateful for having these times to change myself and be a better person. without them, I definitely would have kept up with fighting and other problems that could have led me to bad places. And I hope the people I care about won't suffer any more or anytime. I wanna take care of them even if I am not able to show it or say it properly. (because of my swearing and shit)

(I had to stop reading my book to finish thiS AND IT IS ALREADY SO LATE WHAT THE HECK?)