Darling, just hold on

2. Worst birthday

Tuesday 01/02/2011

Every day is the same. I hate it. At home, nobody notices me except when they need me. At school, I wish nobody noticed. Every day gets a little worse.
Noah really started to bother me. Yesterday he shoved me into my locker but for the rest of the day he did nothing.

It's 06.00 and my alarm goes off because I have school today. Today is the first of February. My birthday.Dad probably forgot it and Debbie, Amy and Mike don't care.
Last year, they forgot and only remembered it when Gemma stood in front of the door with balloons. They didn't have any birthday presents.
I expect this year to be the same.

I got up and start getting ready to leave the house. It is really quiet. Everyone in still asleep. Debbie brings Amy and Mike by car to school which is only 5 minutes away so they can sleep longer.
I hear upstairs Amy's alarm, that means it's 07.00 and I have to leave. I finish my sandwich on my bike.

When I arrive at school, I go directly to class. First period went by fast.
I'm walking to my second class when Noah pulls me down at my backpack.
I'm lying on the ground while surrounded by his friends. Noah takes my backpack but I can't see what he's doing.
When he is done, he puts it upside down so everything falls out. I hate him. I hate everyone for just standing there and laughing. I hate myself for not being strong enough to defend myself.
I put everything back in my backpack and go to class.
I really want to write. I need to. I take my backpack and search for rednot. I can't find it.

Shit, what if Noah has it. Rednot is like a diary. I write everything in it. How I feel, wat I want, my dreams.... Everything. But always in poems.

Second period ends. It's lunch and I race out of class. I don't want to see Noah so going to the cafeteria is no option.
I go to the library, there, I can listen to some music of One Direction to calm myself down while eating.
I'm a big fan, but I would never admit that at school. If Noah finds out, I'm dead.

I have 10 more minutes before I have to be in class, but I decided to already leave the library so I can go to the toilet. I push the bathroom door when somebody yanks at my hair. It hurts so much.

'You little waste of space. I knew it wasn't just here at school. You're nothing. Even your parents don't want you. We will show you what you deserve.' Noah yells in my face.
He pushes me into the mirror which chattered in thousands of pieces. I feel blood dripping in my neck.
He pulls my hair again while his friends kicked my stomach. I threw up. They laughed and thew me in my own vomit and while they left, Noah threw Rednot to me. At least I have that back.

I can't do this anymore. I'm already late for class so I decide there is no use for being here. I just want to go home.
I stand up with help of the wall and go outside of the bathroom.

I'm almost at the front gate of the school when I hear somebody calling my name. Shit. I turn around and see it was Mr. Deakin.

'Harry, why aren't you in class? Why are you trying to sneak out of school?' He asked sounding disappointed.

My mind is working in overdrive. If I tell the truth, nobody would believe me. I'm new, I'm just a waste of space. I can see everything getting blurry in front of me.

'Sorry, I don't feel so good' is all I can say before everything goes black.