A Spider's Web ll Natasha Romanoff

Stay Gold

Was I surprised? No.

Was I mad? No.

Was I sad? A little.

Was I disappointed? Yes.

A year. It took me a year to find information about who I was before HYDRA took me. I had no memories before I became who I was now. I had no names, no birth place, nothing. I was hopeful that something of my past would be waiting for me, but I was wrong.

All I could feel was disappointment swirling around in my chest as I stared down at my parent's tombstones. Melanie and Thomas Morrsion were their names. My mother and father. Their bodies buried six feet under the ground in a cemetery in France. Why France? I had no idea. It was another mystery I didn't have the answers to.

Both of them had been killed when an intruder broke into their home in the middle of the night. I assume it was the same night I was taken. Both were fatally shot, ending their life quickly. I was at least happier to know that they weren't in pain before they were killed.

My hands were stuffed into my pockets and I pushed them in deeper, putting tension on the jacket I was wearing to the point where it might tear. It was a chilly day and the wind blew slightly.

Footsteps came up to my side and I saw a flash of Natasha's now curly hair. It was the same as it had been when I first met her three years ago.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your hair when it's curly?" I asked, looking at her.

"Every chance you get." She responded, looking back at me then at the tombstones.

"What are you feeling?" She asked.

"Disappointment. Also slightly guilty. Am I supposed to feel sad about the death of someone that I didn't know? But at the same time, I'm not?" I asked.

"They were your parents. I would expect you to feel sad."

"But I didn't know them. How can I mourn someone I don't remember knowing?" I asked. "I feel like I should be torn up about it, but I'm not. I feel guilty for it."

She chose to stay silent.

I sighed, dropping my head down to the ground.

"I had hope. I wanted them to be alive. To be waiting here for me with open arms. For both of them to hug me when they saw me. We'd cry together in the doorway of a house and they'd invite me in to catch up and tell me funny stories about me growing up. I hoped for so much and I let myself down. I should have known HYDRA never would have let them live. It wasn't in their nature."

Natasha moved closer to me and wrapped her left arm around my shoulders, allowing me to drop my head on her shoulder.

"I wish I could make it better." She said.

"Nothing gold can stay." I said.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"Nature's first green is gold,

Her hardest hue to hold.

Her early leaf's a flower;

But only so an hour.

Then leaf subsides to leaf.

So Eden sank to grief,

So dawn goes down to day.

Nothing gold can stay."

"It's a poem by Robert Frost." I explained. "Nothing can last forever or in this case, nothing stays gold."

"If everything was good all the time, we wouldn't appreciate what we have." She added.

"It wouldn't be life." I agreed. "Everything comes to an end eventually."

"Not us." She promised. "Never us."

"Not us." I confirmed, smiling up at her.

"Let's get out of here and go get something to eat. Maybe get some wine." She said, grabbing my right hand out of my pocket and lacing her fingers with mine.

"Natasha, it's 9 o'clock in the morning."

"It's 6 o'clock somewhere." She shrugged causing me to throw my head back with laughter.

"Oh my gosh, Natasha, I love you." I laughed.

"And I love you." She said, leaning down and kissing me.