What it's like to be awkward.

Act like a book...and open up!

"You have to open up more!" Lilly groans and punches my arm lightly,

"No! I'm open enough!" I punch her back harder.

We are sitting science, trying to be quiet.

"Ow!" She protests,

"Shhh!" I hiss,

"Um, hello? Did you see how hard you punched me?! I'm going to have the biggest brui-"

"Is there a problem ladies?"
Mr Sword cocks an eyebrow at us,

"No" I smile innocently,

"Yes" Lilly grumbled.

"What was that?" He pushes,

Lilly gives me a mischievous glance,

"Scarlett keeps talking to me while I'm trying to listen"

I stare at her with narrowed eyes, then glance back at mr Sword, who is looking impatient,

"May I ask what you were talking about in my lesson?"

"I was asking for an eraser.." My face heats up. I barely ever get questioned by the teacher, but in any class with Lilly in it, it's a common occurrence..

He looks at me through his glasses, then sighs,

"I don't have time for this...just pay attention"

"Yes mr sword.."

Lilly grins goofily at me

"Bitch" I murmur

"Hehe you love me though"

"No. I don't" I try not to smile, but seeing the look on her face, makes me crack, and I grin at her.

"Shut up. yes you do"

"Yeah ok whatever" I smile slyly and face the front again, well, until I feel a kick from under the table.

Normally I would look around to find the culprit, but I'm in a class with Lilly, so I know exactly who kicked me.

I turn to look at her blankly

"What" I try to sound bored.

"Tell meeeee!"

"Tell you what! We've been going on in circles for ages and I still don't understand what you want me to 'admit' to you!"

"Not admit, just open, you're really distant, and I can tell something is bugging you! I just want to help you..."

My 'bored' look softens, as I look into her clear blue eyes. Lilly has always been hard to read, she has the most amazing personality, but I still can't read her thoughts. Though I'm no mind reader, I can tell that I'm upsetting her by not saying anything.

But, quite seriously, I don't know what to say to her, I can tell her anything, I know that much, but I still have to choose my words wisely. Actually, who am I kidding? I never think before I speak.

"I cut." I say quickly then face the front and pretend that I'm listening to the teacher.

From out the corner of my eye, I see her face tighten and her jaw move up and down slightly.

After a while, she touches my shoulder,

"Scar, if you ever think of doing that again, ring me, I can help. Please don't do that..." her voice cracks, and suddenly I feel even worse, another person I've caused pain to.

I turn to face her, both our eyes rimmed with tears.

"I'm sorry..." I choke out,

"No, no don't be sorry..I'm here to help...think of me as, 'Lilly the-' uhhh what cool word starts with L?"