Diabolik Lovers Incorrect Quotes and Inside Jokes

163

Diabolik Lovers as random things I've said or done with no context.

Ayato: Imagine being horny AND eating dinner
Couldn't be me

Laito: I want feet bitch

Kou: LMFAO arby's boutta hold that against you

Kino: Crush my head with them thighs please

Azusa: It's midnight. I woke up thinking it was noon even though it's dark as hell outside because I'm hella stupid and I slept through feeling sick yesterday

Yuma: Bitch gimme your thighs

Kou: No one can kiss worse than crusty cishet middle school boys.

Ayato, Kanato, Azusa, and Shin: Phone screen: *is dirty*
Ayato, Kanato, Azusa, and Shin: *Licks it, wipes it off with sweater, then looks around to see if anyone saw that*

Laito and Yuma: I like him simply because I can keep it in my mouth for longer then 3 seconds.

Shu as a kid: *jumps and latches on random kid* HOI IM SHU, AND WE'RE FRIENDS NOW!! WANNA GO EAT LUNCH WITH ME?? ALSO IM A WEEB!!!"
Shu now: pleasedonttalktomepleasedonttalktomepleasedonttalktome
ohgodyouretalkingtome
iwannagohome
momcomepickmeupimscared

Ruki and Reiji: How am I gonna randomly remember the time I called 911 in school-

Reiji: My gender for today is headache. You will refer to me as Mi/Graine

Carla: My dumbass is really drinking eggnog while I work on my 2 month overdue English project.

Subaru and Carla: Hey guys, I found my life in the sewers. Anyone want it, cuz the ninja turtles down there said it's useless...

Reiji, Ruki, and Subaru: Wattpad needs to stop being a little fuck. I could REALLY go for a coke or something rn as I am waiting...

Shu: Ever just constantly fucking forget that you exist and your main way of coping with it is escapism and sleep??
And then you inevitable have no emotions the entire time outside of maybe crying.
And then by the time it's over, you have no memory of what happened?
Or is that just me?

Ayato: Dice=click clack math rocks

Kou: I would, but I'm gay

Subaru, Ruki, and Azusa: Teachers are really worried about gen z and having school shooters like bitch I'd just ask them to join class with us

Cordelia and the triplets: I'm setting myself on fire.

Yui: I choked on my nerds.

Karl and the wives: So now I have a dead kid.

Christa: DON'T REMIND ME OF MY DEAD CHILD, HE ABANDONED ME
NOT TO MENTION SO DID BOTH MY DADS

Shu and Subaru: You're not even my real dad anymore

Yui: That's a different kettle of fish

Kou: SWEET MOTHER OF SPACE DADDY, WHAT IN THE FUCK-