MR. PROFESSOR (BxB)

Chapter 12

Human are hideous, human are cruel, human are heartless. It's been few days since that accident. This is the second time death disappointed me. But what to do when even death don't want me.

I managed to survived back then because of my new pet. I name him reaper, he is the one who woke me up before people could see me naked at the bench. Luckily, because if that happened surely I will live my life full of shame and judgement.

By the way reaper is a cat. A very lovely cat.
Since then I've never come out from the house. I stopped school and everything for several days. A blessing that my mom tend to store foods or I will die here with starvation. But I still don't care as long as I'm alone.

My mom and dad went abroad for some issues, so I'm here all alone. Their flight was the day that accident happened. The time when I almost lost my life, the time when I needed someone the most, but I'm all alone, I'm alone.

The memories of how cruelly they abused me is still so fresh. I always  dream about it, and even become my nightmare, a greatest nightmare.

With the kindness of God my body seems to recover, though not fully but I can now move without any trouble.

I'm planning to quit school, I just wait for my parents approval. I just send Mr. Guevara a message for the time being telling him that I had a serious health problem so  I can't go to school.

Maybe you guys wonder why I didn't report that crime to the authority. Well, simply because no one will believe me. It's sound hilarious though,  a man gotten raped by another man? That sound insane and I can't blame them.

This is the problem of society. They are keep on insisting that men should always look tough, men should not cry, men should be strong, and men should never be weak.

It's sounds funny!  But I'm just wondering,  everytime there is a woman who become a victim of any sexual harassment received everyone's sympathy. But if it's happened to be a man, he will received mockery and laughter. Gender equality? Eat that you fuckin society.

I'm all over laying on my bed over thinking things that should not be.

How could it be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone that will listen and understand you. I seems being drown by my own emotions, I can't handle it anymore.

Without noticing I was long crying, It's just that, you can't control your emotion. If I were to choose I would never ever shed tears ever again. I would never beg someone again never in my life.

I need to sleep or else I don't know what would I do next. But what the hell is happening!  Why can't I just sleep?

I should divert myself to think something nice, maybe logging into my Facebook account would do.

As I open my account it is as empty as me. Notification 0, Message 0. UGHH okay I guess Facebook would not that nice after all. But anyway I just continued scrolling.

~ Cring...cring....cring....~

My phone suddenly received a call, and when I look at it it is my mom.

" oh hi honey how are you? " my mom asked after I answered her call. I can hear some buzzing sound, maybe they are on the way home.

Oh my God, what if they will find out about what happened to me? What if..... no please. my eyes twitch just imagining what would they do. What would happen to me.

" nathan, are you okay? Are you sick? Don't worry honey we are coming home " my mom said and I can feel her anxious tone.

Ahmm guys have you forgotten about my mom and dad's anniversary? Well, that small event didn't happened because of the urgent situation.

" Oh hi mom, sorry I just.....just. ughh anyway  please be safe." I wanted to tell her that I'm not okay , but I guess it won't be a good thing right now. I just say goodbye and ended the call.

I'm now again on the perks of breaking down. I guess it's time for me to build my relationship with my parents. They are the only one whom I can trust this moment and in this lifetime. And I really need someone to understand me, someone like my parents.

I remember the day I cut off the support of my family just to prove that I can. They resist, but I insisted so I experienced a very hard moment. See? I just know realized that I am the one that makes my self suffer. Instead of becoming better I become worse.

I always don't show my affection to my parents, I was like  a living doll. I turn over their love, because I'm afraid I would drag them. But in return I hurt them so much.

I always rejected their help as I want to show them that I can be independent. And in returned I destroyed their role as parent.

But they still didn't give up on me. They are always there for me, despite my insecurities and personality they didn't leave. I'm the one who left them over, I'm so stupid.

I'm ungrateful,  I shouldn't have done that. I even dare to build hatred towards them, where in fact they only want the best for me. I was blinded by my  feelings.

" mom, dad I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. Sorry....I.....I know that you feel like I didn't loved you but I really do. But don't worry mom, dad  I promise I will compensate those time that I treated you like a stranger. I will be more open to you and I will show you how much I love you. I will catch up with you. We will build only happy memories with each other. I...... hope you could give me a chance." I sobbed after murmuring those words. I need to change before it's too late.