Kill My Time || Sequel to Wildflower

Seventeen

"So like is this what it's really going to be like now?" Ashton laughs nervously as Calum joins his bandmates on a video call.

"I don't like it already." Luke complains.

"I don't think any of us like it, but it's what we have so we have to deal with it." Michael shrugs.

"I want to be filming the music video today like was planned." Ashton sighs.

"Andy is working on a stop motion style lyric video with the flowers he saved from the shoot location. It will still look cool." Michael smiles.

"Ya, but it isn't the music video we were planning and I don't see how we will be able to film an actual video for the song and that sucks." Luke sighs.

"You okay Cal, you're being very quiet today. This was your favorite song and video idea and you don't seem to have anything to add to the conversation." Ashton frowns, his eyes suddenly trained on the quiet man hiding in the hoodie he is wearing.

"Maybe it's a good thing we aren't doing the video right now." He shrugs, sipping at his coffee. His eyes dry as hell, painfully so, his eyelids feeling like sandpaper each time he blinks. The blue bags and red rims of each a deadset giveaway that he spent hours upon hours crying last night. Staying in the shadows of his hood is the only way to hide his emotions from his bandmates and right now he feels the need to keep the fight he and Zeppelynn had had quiet.

"You okay mate? You've always loved this song, even when you hated Z you loved the song." Michael frowns.

"Fine." Calum shrugs his shoulder halfway, keeping his mug close to his face to block what the hood isn't.

"That was a lie, so you want to tell us what is actually going on Cal?" Ashton frowns.

"Not really." Calum sighs, wishing they didn't know him so well in this moment.

"Will you anyway so it doesn't eat at you the same? So we can help you?" Michael asks softly.

"I'm just not in the mood to discuss anything to do with her." Calum shrugs.

"What happened between you two? Since the whole coffee shop hookup date." Ashton frowns.

"I finally got my feelings in the open, and it didn't help me at all, in fact it made me more sure that I can never be with her again. And I hurt her because it made me realize that. I've never cried so much in my life. Realizing that the way I feel about her will never be enough after the way things ended... So sorry if I'm not too excited about the songs written about the feelings that will never be enough."

"Damn, I'm sorry mate." Luke whispers out after a long moment of silence.

"It sucks too, because I definitely hurt her in the end, and I never wanted to do that." Calum swallows hard.

"Pain is inevitable in these kinds of situations, and you didn't do it on purpose. You didn't know you wouldn't be able to work through it all, and we all know you hoped you would. We know you wanted to make it work with her if you could." Ashton nods softly.

"She tired too, she fought for us this time, she wanted to make it work, she was willing to let me figure out my shit. But when she showed up last night to talk before everything shut down... it just hit me, I wasn't ever going to be able to truly trust her again, I'd constantly be afraid of the negative endings we could have after the way she left me before. I don't know if that is on me, or on her, but either way it fucking sucks." Calum sighs.

"It doesn't have to be a blame game Cal. It can just be what it is. It can just be broken and irreparable, no matter how much you want it to be fixable." Michael encourages softly.

"It just sucks." Calum sighs, "She was everything I could have ever wanted, and somehow I still lost all of it."

"Love sucks?" Luke half smirks.

"Ain't that the fucking truth." Calum sighs, swallowing his emotions as they try to bubble up again.

"We really are sorry mate. And we are here to help you if you need anything." Michael smiles softly.

"Thanks. Now, can we discuss work again? Because I am over talking and thinking about my shit show of a love life." he sighs, clearing his throat of the emotions.

"Ya, we can do that. Sorry about how things have happened for you in the last year or so Cal, you don't deserve any of it." Ashton adds quickly before their conversation turns to the album and music.

***

"Knock knock." Zeppelynn yells out, entering her childhood home with a small smile on her face.

"Zeppelynn?" She can hear the surprise in her dad's voice, his footsteps squeaking across the old wood floor as he comes from somewhere deeper in the house.

"Hi dad." She smiles as he enters the front room, "Mind if we are quarantine buddies for a while?"

"I would love it." he grin, moving to pull her carefully into a hug.

"Me too. Live has been a shit show since I saw you last." she sighs, relaxing deeply into his warm bear hug embrace.

"What's been going on?" he asks pointedly, letting go of her so she can get herself to the couch, sitting down beside her.

"Calum came back into my life, sort of." She sighs, knowing she did want to discuss it with him, even if it sucks a little bit.

"And you didn't tell me?" he frowns.

"It hasn't exactly been a good time." She groans, "We sort of got thrown together. He is doing therapy at the same place I was, and Zac ran into him, while he was flirting with Hazel too. I barely saw him that day, just the back of his head as he ran from the room to get away from me. But we ran into each other at the Zoo of all places after that, and he ran again. And then he um, he had to help me at therapy and suddenly he was right in front of me, and we talked and it wasn't weird and he took the video of me walking for the first time so I'd have it for you. And then he agreed to have coffee with me, so we could talk, clear the air or some shit. Because it really felt like we were being pushed together by the universe or whatever you want to call it."

"And?"

"And we got coffee, and we laughed. I felt like me again, I was happy, it was easy, it felt right, kissing him again... it was everything I could have ever hoped for. But then... then he ghosted me. He left me on read, he declined my calls, he disappeared. And when I finally confronted him last night to figure it out before lockdown, I saw just how much I hurt him... the pain in his voice, in his words, in his demeanor.. I broke him, and I lost him because he couldn't get past what happened last year. And it's all my fault."

"So you came home? To get away from all of that?" Frank nods.

"I needed away from LA, especially when I got home from that shit show and Haz had to tell me my leg was put on pause. I lost everything in an instant again, right when I thought maybe life would be good again." she sighs, leaning over against his side.

"Life will be good again Zeppelynn, you will make it that way for yourself."

"Dad." She whispers after a moment, "Sometimes, a lot of the time actually, I wish I hadn't woke up."

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What comes of that confession?

What happens while Z is at home?

Wildflower and CALM are about to drop... What effect does that have on Zeppelynn and/or Calum?

I finished writing this book last night! My next story is an Ashton fic!!! This book will finish updating next week and that one will start! I'm super excited for it! My Luke fic is in the works and will follow my Ashton one!

Vote and comment!

I love you guys!!!

~M =)