The Host Guy

43rd Chapter

I make my way to Harry's bedroom, feeling a little frightened to hear what he wants so bad to say.

“Can I?” I ask as I knock in the door. Instantly, his head pops up behind it.

“Come in.”

“So? You wanna talk with me?”

“I'm sorry.” He apologizes while he embraces his fingers on mine.

“You're sorry? Mhm, so now you're sorry.” I take a deep breath, a flush of anger heats my cheeks. “Don't apologize, it's not your fault if you don't feel the same anymore or never even felt it.”

“It has nothing to do with that, Em. I still love you, I do. Gosh, you don't know how much I love and care, and want you. I'm just afraid.”

“Afraid?” I laugh. “Afraid of what?”

“Afraid of you leaving me, not caring a single bit for me and I'm mainly afraid of you cheating on me.”

“Harry...” My voice almost breaks, I was trying so hard not to cry. I'm mean, I cheated, or I kinda did, even if I didn't want to, even if i was not my fault, and even if I feel like it didn't happen but it did.

“What? What's going on?”

“I'm the one that should say sorry, I take everything so serious, I should stop doing that. I'm sorry.”

I grab his face with my hands, I stare at his eyes and see that's something missing in there. They were in a darker shade of green like if someone stole their brightness and their beautiful light green color.

I've let myself fall in his arms, leaning against his body, that warmed me inside out. I rested my head on his chest, I could hear his heart beating, it was beating so fast, was he still afraid? I can't deal with the pain I feel inside, I cheated. A single teardrop drops, followed by a couple more.

I always thought crying could heal the pain and free my soul but instead it makes me feel worse than I was before.

“I don't deserve you, Harry. I think it's better if we break up.” I say, cleaning my throat. Ouch, this hurts.

It just feels like I was heated by an arrow and it destroyed what was left of my broken heart.

“Don't say that, baby. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you, Emily.”

“You're right, you do not deserve a monster like me, you deserve way better, and I know you can do better, Harry. And I meant what said, we should break up.”

“Why?”

“I cheated.” I said so fast that I don't even know if he understood it.

“You what?” He unwraps his arms from my body and looks at me, the briefest emotion flickers in his eyes as if I was a criminal. I cannot stand seeing him looking at me like that.

“It was not my fault.”

A teardrop fell from his eyes but he cleaned it right way with the back of hand. He looks at me again, I knew he was feeling disgusted with what was right in front of his eyes, me.

 “Get out of my room.” He yells at me.

“No! Listen to me! Liam kissed me, I stopped it because of you. I stopped because I love you more than you even know. I stopped because I knew it wasn't right!”

“Think with me, he just kissed you because you let him, maybe he thought you wanted it too! And why? Because you probably showed you were interested.”

“Oh, don't say that again. Do you know how much that hurts to hear? I only like you, no, wait, I actually love you, Harry.”

“And do you know how much it hurts to know you kissed another guy? Would you want me to kiss Hannah? Because Em, I had the opportunity too, and she had it too. But did we ever kiss? No.”

“Oh, okay. We're over.”

“Yeah, we are. Don't ever talk to me again.”

“I think that's a little impossible, we live in the same house.”

 “Whatever.”

“I love you, Harry.” I said but it felt like a goodbye. 

“No matter what, even if I'm angry at you, Em. I will always love you, and I shouldn't.” 

 He looks at me as though knowing what I'm thinking. It's not going to be the same. We were both facing each other, we knew we didn't want this to end.