The Host Guy

20th Chapter

(DONT FREAK OUT BECAUSE IT PASSED TWO MONTHS BECAUSE MAYBE I'LL DO FLASHBAcKS AND STUFF)

(*#*)

I never thought my first time would be like that, two months later here I was, highly depressed and being simply a toy in Colton's hand, crying every night when I go to bed or when I take a shower. Disgust fill my eyes every time I see the reflection of my naked body in the mirror, it's not the same, I can't look at it....I'm full of purple stains turning into black, I don't like to call them love bites because there's no love involved. Colton is sick, psychotic and he's getting possessive for me. I don't know what to do with myself anymore, I can't even smile and laugh like I used to. And I'm getting just as paranoid as Colton because every time someone touches me, I freak out. I'm afraid that somebody might do the same things Colton does or even worse, if there's anything worse than what he does. But no one knows. Harry noticed I've been acting a bit odd compared to how I use to be, but I always tell him that I'm tired from my job because babies are a lot of work, he still thinks that I'm "babysitting." He's been a really good friend, I like him a lot and I can't say he's my brother because I don't picture him that way, even though he'll be one day, because my parents are really looking forward on adopting him

"Hey, Em," Harry snapped me out of my thoughts with his voice, pushing a lock of curls out of his face

"Hello, where've you been?" I asked in confusion as he had been out all day without telling me why or where he went. Not even a single text.

"Out," he laughed. "Hanging out with Hanna, Niall and his new girlfriend."

Hanna told me she was starting to like Harry and that she believes he might like her as well but every time I ask him about it, he laughs and always says that he likes a girl but that he doesn't want to tell her, he's afraid of what she might think but the thing is, if it's Hanna, he has to tell her. Okay, it has got to be her.

"Oh, I see. Thank's for inviting me," I squeaked, trying to refrain from crying. It hurt knowing that my friends didn't even asked me if I wanted to hang out with them, only my enemy wanted me.

"Sorry, I wanted to bring you but you were still sleeping when I went out, you've been sleeping a lot on the weekends lately."

Yeah, don't tell me. Sleeping equals dreaming. It's the only way I can dream of a better life. The only way I can have the things I want, plus I can dream about being a famous actress or something. And that way I can block Colton from my thoughts, and believe me, not thinking about him is harder than it sounds since he rapes me all the time and makes me cry. He makes me want to end my life.

"Oh, okay then."

"I bought some donuts from Daniel's Bakery, will this cheer you up?"

"Harry, I don't want to eat junk food, sorry..." I said.

"What can I do then? I've tried so many times in these last couple of months to cheer you up," he grumbled. By the look on his face you could definitely tell he was mad and I felt sorry for that, the only thing I wanted now was to tell him the truth and then hug him like there's no tomorrow. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. And that broke me inside.

"I'm s-,"

"Listen to me! I want the old Emily back, the one who would laugh at her own jokes and start laughing every time she tried explaining it, the one who would warn me every time I was going to do something wrong or stupid, the one who smiles shyly when she did something wrong, the one who would do anything to eat junk food because she loved it more than anything, and I'm not going to keep talking or I'll never be able to stop but where's that girl? Because god I miss her," he said letting himself fall on the couch next to where I was, I suddenly felt an urge to kiss him. How can I be feeling this? I can't. He likes Hanna, Hanna likes him, and I am his host family. This can't happen. Not now, not ever.