The Host Guy

38th Chapter

"I know something is going on," he said angrily. "Don't lie to me, Em."

"I'm not lying, Harry. Everything's okay!" I said, slowly saying every word.

"I know you," He said in a low voice as if he was trying to control himself.

"Look," I stopped, took a deep breath and restarted. "If something was going on, I would tell you, all right? Don't worry, I'm just a little tired from my day, okay?"

"Sorry if I'm interrupting you guys but I'm feeling a little left out." Hanna announced, cleaning her throat. I totally forgot she was here with us. I'm such a bad friend.

I got off the chair I was seating in and headed to Hanna's. "I'm sorry," I apologized. I was feeling like someone has been kicking my stomach in the last minutes. I feel guilty for something and mostly for everything. To answer Harry's question correctly, no, I'm not even close to okay.

"Hmm, are you okay? Are you sick, Em?" Hanna asked me while pressing one of her hands in my forehead but I pulled it away.

"See, Em. Everyone notices you're not okay." Harry said between pauses.

"Once and for all, stop saying that, Harry!" I retorted

"When pigs fly she'll tell us what's going on with her," Hanna spit out. I scoffed and rolled my eyes at her. Seriously, can they stop? Sometimes people don't want to tell other people why they're feeling bad or whatever because maybe they can't.

A cold wind whipped my hair off my neck making me shiver and I quickly wrapped my arms around my body. "It's cold, can we go inside?" I asked and stared at both of them waiting for an answer. They looked at each other and then rose from their seat.

I know I'm always telling myself I want to kill Colton, but I really do want and I really don't want. I might be turning bipolar like Colton. I just feel bad for him, behind his bad boy figure I know there's a story to tell and lots of pain but after all that's not a fucking excuse to everything he did to me. I just want him to tell me and then leave me alone, so that way I can live my life in peace. But I feel selfish again, I feel selfish for being a little happy because he's away from me right now. He's in a plane going to the USA, sad that he's only seeing me in a month and all I can do is be happy. 

"....did you hear a single word of what I just said, Em?" Harry asked me. Wow, how long have I been stuck in my mind? 

"Sorry, what? Where's Hanna?"

"She left, she had some things to resolve with her dad."

"Oh, okay. So, what were you saying to me?"

"I was asking you if we were fine or are you angry at me?"

How could I be angry at him? He was just being a sweetheart by asking me if there was something going on. I just couldn't give him the right answer, the answer he knew that was the right one.

"I'm not, I swear. Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me everything, babe." He answered, approaching me by embracing me into a hug.

I'm still not use to tell 'I love you' to Harry. I don't know why, maybe I'm just nervous about feeling that strong thing for someone. I've told him that today but those three little words have a huge meaning but why be scaried when people are constantly telling each other those words. But they only have meaning when we feel it. So, I shouldn't be afraid of telling him that.

"I love you, Harry. And I'm sorry for everything," I stated, every word seeping out of my mouth.

Harry instantly broke our hug. He looked shocked and surprised, like he didn't like what he heard. I felt like someone had broken my heart, really, like someone had taken my heart out of my chest and ripped it into three million pieces.