HURRICANE, p.m

41. firsts

"i'm not there yet."

THE TWO Stared at each other in shock, neither knowing what to say after his confession. Sure they were both aware of their strong feelings towards each other but they had never fully discussed it. The only time being in past tense on Hadleys part.

They had spent approximately 2 minutes and 33 seconds staring at each other in silence—both of them counting. Their anger was long gone, now replaced with tension—they weren't sure what kind.

Becoming uncomfortable with the silence , Hadley is the first to break it. "What did you say?" She whispers it out, as if they're children discussing a secret.

He closes his eyes as his body fills with dread, this wasn't how he wanted this to go. He had planned it over in his head hundreds, if not thousands, of times how he would finally profess his love for the girl. But ending an argument with it had never been a scenario he thought of.

He didn't want to take it back per say, obviously involuntarily telling her the truth. He did however wish he could say it again—this time not in the middle of a screaming match with the girl.

Memories pop up in his mind of all the other opportunities he had to tell her before now, but he knows it wouldn't have gone well then either. Her not being ready and him being too scared to ever be that vulnerable.

"Pietro." Her quiet voice breaks him from his racing mind and he snaps his eyes open to see the tears have returned. His dread turns to sorrow at her expression, "Hadley, I'm sorry-"

"Do you mean it?" He genuinely can't tell if her tears are one of happiness or sadness. Whether she's angry or happy with his confession. But it doesn't matter right now because there's no getting out of this one.

He can't run from this one, he backed himself into a corner after allowing his emotions to get the best of him in their argument. So instead of trying to avoid it any longer he lets out a breath, and tells the truth. "Yes."

            His head falls as he focuses his gaze on the floor, unsure why he feels so guilty. But he quickly looks back up as he feels her soft hand reach for him, placing itself on his cheek.

            Her eyes capture his, pulling him in despite how sad they look. He wants her to say it back, he craves for her to return the feeling but he can see that she doesn't. And for some reason that hurts more than anything.

            Placing one hand on hers, he removes it from his face and takes a small step back, "Pietro, wait." She chokes it out, the sobs building in her throat quickly.

But he doesn't stop, putting more and more distance between the two. Causing her heart to clench tighter with each step he took. She wasn't sure how she felt towards him anymore.

She did know that anytime he was around it felt as if everything would be okay. When he was with her she felt as if she could do anything, as if she had something—and someone—to fight for again. But she also knew how it felt when he was gone.

The emptiness that grows in her and the never ending pit that forms in her stomach everytime she thinks he will leave. And that thought alone is more than enough to cause her anxiety to fester. "Please." She doesn't want him to leave, she knows now that his absence is one of her biggest fears.

He doesn't want to sound like a dick, so he chooses to keep his words to himself. But for the first time in a long time she isn't letting it go, she's taking what she wants. "Stop it. You don't get to walk away, not again." She can't stop the tear that escapes but she doesn't care too much about it.

Her harsh tone makes his steps halt, his eyes still plastered to the floor. "You left me once, and it broke me. You've been trying to prove to me you won't do that to me again, and yes I appreciate the effort, I really do. But everything I said is true. I-"

She wants him to look up, just look at me. "I'm not sure if i'll ever really be able to get over that. I was in love with you, ready to give everything up for you. And you threw that away, and I'm not mad anymore honestly. But that fear of you leaving will never go away, not fully atleast. And as far as-" She cuts herself off now.

Her hands begin sweating as she hears a small sniffle escape him, "As far as you telling me you love me." She says it all in one breath, scared the statement would cause her to collapse. "I'm not there yet."

She finally gets the words out, striking fear in her mind and sorrow in his. He knew it was coming but it still hurt, "I promise you I'm getting there, Pietro. I am falling in love with you. And I don't know how much longer it will take but-"

This time she isn't the one cutting herself off, it's him. Hearing her say that she was falling in love with him was enough, enough to hold him over and enough to give him the smallest bit of hope. So without thinking, he had rushed forward, placing a soft kiss to her lips, without even realizing it.

The second he realized his mistake was when she made no effort to reciprocate the kiss. And he was quick to pull away, "I am so sorry." He knows he's probably ruined the whole thing, pushed them back 5 steps from where they already were.

But he was surprised to feel her hands move to the nape of his neck and pull him back down gently, "Don't be." And with that she finally gave in, even if it was just for a moment.

She let it happen, finally succumbing to everything she had been feeling since the moment she met him. This was their first actual kiss and damn had she made a mistake waiting this long. And no she didn't feel the cliche 'electricity' that they portray in the movies.

Instead her body was lighting up with anxiety, but this time it was the good kind. The kind that made her stomach turn in excitement and her hands shake in anticipation. Her fingers danced through the overgrown hair on the back of his neck as his laid gently on her waist, pulling her as close as he could manage.

And after a few seconds they slowly disconnected, foreheads resting against each other's as their panting breaths mixed. "Wow."

anon. speaks
this happened. idk why but it did. i'm going to write out a few more chapters to try and tie up some ends before officially ending the book! also i wanted to thank you guys SO MUCH for all the recent love on this book. i'm so happy to see you all enjoying it we much as i've enjoyed writing it!