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Chapter 23

(Tw)
(Eating disorder, mentions of self-harm scars, talks on anxiety, talks of panic attacks)
(Tommy's P.O.V)

The next day
I wake up to the smell of what i think is bacon? I cant really tell my noes is all blocked up like i have a cold from all of the crying yesterday. I cant really remember much from last night just that i had another anxiety attack behaves of that person who texted me or something like that, it was all a bit of a blur.

I roll over to check my phone but its not there.. i thought i put it on my night stand on charge last night after i finally calmed down and went to bed... ill ask will about it

I get out of bed and walk over to the mirror in my bedroom, it goes from the floor to the sealing, its massive. I can see all my scars from when i cut myself in the past. And hw fragile my body is but at the same time how fat i look, the urge is still there, to cut,  no matter what i do i still want to cut again, that's probably never gonna change at this point. I'm too far gone.

i get changed out of the shorts and top i was wearing and put some joggers and a oversized hoodie on.

I walk out of my room, the smell is clearer now, its definitely bacon or something very similar to that, i can also hear voices? There's definitely will's voice and.... Tubbo?

I walk out of the hallway leading into the bedrooms and walking into the living room and kitchen area, i stand there for a moment listening before they realise i was there. They where talking about someone? Or something? I could really tell i didn't get enough time

"Hey tommy!" Will said excitedly as he turned around with a pan in his hand which i assumed had some sort of food in it, Tubbo turn around and said hey then came over and hug me, i don't know why though... did Wilbur tell him about last night? "You okay there Tubbo?" I said to him hugging him back, "yeah I'm okay, i should be the one asking you that, are you okay?" He said with a race of concern in his voice  "I'm okay, dont worry about me"

Lies

I'm not okay

No one loves me

No one cars about me

They dont care for me

I'm just a burden on them

I should just end it all now

Grab the knife, grab the blade

I tried to push the thoughts out of my head, no matter  how true they are, i have to stay, i dont know why, its just not my time yet... right?

I pullaway from tubbos grasp and walked over to sit at the island in the middle of the kitchen  tubbo walks over and sits on the seat next to me.

Wilburputs a plate in frount of my with 2 strips of bacon and a bit of scrabbled eggs on it, the smell of the food is stringer now and is making my gag having to look at it isn't help either.

"I'm not hungry" i mange to push of my mouth without being sick "just eat some of it, please? Just 2 bites then you can leave" will stated. "I'm not hungry will" i said more serious this time, "tommy, eat it." He sounded angrier then before, i looked at tubbo for help, he just look at will in shock, he could tell Wilbur was getting angry as well apparently.

"Will. I'm not hungry, I'm nt going to force myself to eat." I said , trying to sound string, but it was true, not just because i didnt want to eat this time, I'm truly just not hungry, i have no appetite

"Thomas. You're not leaving this table until you eat it." He said with his voice raised a bit, he never uses my actual name. "Will... maybe we shouldn't push him? Just this once?" Tubbo butted in, i looked at him and shot him a look that said *thank you*

"Tommy, if you dont eat i will make you eat" he threatened "okay will, calm down right now, this isn't the way we planned to do this, calm down mate okay?" Tubbo said trying to get him to calm down.

I got up and started walking away which probably wasn't the right idea but i could just sit ther and be talked to like that, i had to get out of that room, i dont know what is up with Wilbur, but this isn't the will i know

I was walking away i felt a hand grab at arm and yank me back...

N/A
Hey guys!!!!! Sorry I haven't updated in ageessssss but i have now, i have no idea when the next part is gonna be but i know what its gonna be about coz this part i had no idea what i wanted to do but i figured it out so yaaaaaaaaa

I hope you enjoyed this part! I feel bad for making will the bad guy tho, sadag.

(870 words)