new home

Chapter 25

(Tw)
(ED, Self-Harm, Suicide attempt, Self-Doubt)

(Time skip to later that night)

I was laying in bed half asleep in my bed, will still out somewhere, who know where. Tubbos gone home since his parents wanted him home after what happened with will and everything, I could've gone ad stayed with tubbo but is this person who keeps texting me found out, who knows what would happen. I'm such a waste of space, I've put everyone in danger at this point

Useless

Worthless

Waste of space

No one cares

End it all now!

Kill your self!!

The thoughts rang in my head over and over again, they wouldn't go away, they wouldn't stop.

I heard the front door open and close extremely quietly, so quiet it was bearly auditable. Why would will be trying to come in so quietly? It's only just turned dusk now, i just chose to ignore it, he was probably being quiet becuase he dosent want e to know he's home so he dosent have to deal with my shitty problems again, he's probably mad at me, hates me, i would, and i dont blame him for it.

I then heard the door open and close again, he probably just got bored of me and left, he dosent care about me, no one does, tubbo left me just like will, at least my parents cared enough to actually tell me what they thought about me, wish they didnt get arrested... they weren't that bad.

Ding!
Wilby:
Sorry for leaving you for so long, i just had to clear my head
Can we talk when i get home?
I'll be home in 10 minutes
On my way now

Tommy:
Okay. That's fine.
Weans you just here though?
I just heard you in the kitchen area

WILBY:
No...
I haven't been home
Don't leave your room
Be quiet
5 mins away

What does he mean? Of cause he's been home! I heard him! Why s he lying to me...? Is he? Was there someone else here? Who would want to come here though? No one has any reasons to, do they? Oh god, someone broke in.

Nonononononononono

This is bad, its my fault
I cant breathe
Shit.

Y breathing sped up, my eyes are beginning to water, this has to be like my 3rd panic attac today, I'm so weak, why cant i just be stronger? I have to do something and now, fast

I get out of my bed feeling lightheaded and rush into the bathroom and start looking through all the draws, perfect! I found my blade, the one i took out of my sharpener my snapping the plastic and taking out the blade at school, somehow no one saw my with it in school in classes, no one cares enough to notice when i was sat there cutting in classes, no one cares about me at all.

I hold the blade in my hand and grip it hard, i need to do this before will gets home,. I roll up my sleeves an begin

1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
4 cuts
5 cuts
6 cuts

I now i have 3 cuts on each arm, i cant see them though becuase of my tears but i can feel them, i feel alive for the first time in ages. Or at least since the last time i cut...