Papillon - HS

Chapter 12

Song: Style by Taylor Swift
It doesn't go anywhere in particular but you'll see where it fits:)

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Harry Styles' POV:

I spent the whole ride to Edmonton thinking about what Niall had said. Thinking about how I need to identify whatever it is that I'm feeling for Victoria. There's definitely something there, something I want to explore, but I just don't know what it is. I have the tendency of walking blindly into things, I never stop and think if another person might be on the same page as I am. My feelings end up growing until they eventually burn out because they were too much and unfortunately, not reciprocated at times.

Michael made the whole tour crew have lunch together, which helped my mind get distracted for a little while. I have been stalling my talk  with Victoria because I still don't know what I would tell her.

Hi, I might have a crush on you?
Do you have a crush on me too?
You do?! Great!

I have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do here.

Niall and Louis whisked Victoria away as soon as lunch was over so I didn't gave time to talk to her then. I ended up hanging out with Liam and Zayn for a while before they both fell asleep back at the hotel. I chuckled after hearing their light snores and headed over to my room.

As much as I wanted, I couldn't sleep or think about anything else that wasn't Victoria. I turned on the TV but couldn't focus at all, my mind kept replaying all the times we have been together and came up with the conclusion they we're much more entertaining that whatever show was playing. I tried listening to music but ended up connecting every single lyric back to her. I even tried writing a new song but everything felt to precipitated, not natural at all. My mind wanted her to be my muse but it felt all the lyrics felt taken out of a cliché love story.

I groaned and stood from the bed. I went over to the desk and picked up my phone, it was getting late. Victoria might as well be back from wherever she went with Lou and Ni. I should go over to try and talk to her.

Or maybe I shouldn't. I don't even know what I'm going to say.

I paced around the room trying to give myself courage to go over and knock at her door.

You can do this, Harry. Very easy. Just walk out there, knock, tell her you want to talk and that's it. Nothing you haven't done before. Besides, she's easy to talk to. It's gonna be fine.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, grabbing my phone and placing it on my back pocket. My legs were giving long strides as I walked out my room and headed where Victoria was staying. I took long breaths and closed my eyes, feeling my heart beat increase rapidly. Just as I was about to reach her hallway, my body failed on me and I felt my legs changing direction.

Nope, not going.
I don't even know if she's the room.

But what if she is?
What if this is the only time I get to talk to her?

My legs switched direction and I walked towards her room again.

Fuck, I'm so scared.

My legs turned again and I walked over to my room. I ignored the what if's in my mind and walked and walked until I reached my door. I stood pensively outside my room, unable to open the door.

Jesus fuck Harry, just GO!

My legs began working again, this time determined to stand outside her door. My feet moved without me thinking and I finally reached her room. I took deep breaths and shook my arms to get some sense of relaxation. I could hear a faint melody coming from the door, meaning she was in her room.