That night I cried, because the first time in my life I let myself feel pain and it sucked. It was nothing like when Skai and I stopped friends, this pain felt like it would never go away.
Caleb had locked himself in his room, not talking to anyone, not that I'd even tried yet, well at least not until today.
"Who is it?" he questioned
"It's Cass" I said softly, partially hoping he'd tell me to go away since I didn't even know what I would even say
"Come in" he mumbled as I sighed before opening the door, noticing him laying in his bed with his eyes focused on the ceiling
"Mind if I stare at the ceiling with you?" I asked as his eyes followed me before moving over, making space for me lay down
I got onto the bed, laying down and staring at the ceiling.
"How you doing?" I asked, mocking Joey Tribiani's voice as he turned to me, completely unamused by my attempt to lighten up the mood
"Everything hurts right now" he admitted, his attention returning to the ceiling, "Good news is... I'm all cried out, you?"
"I'm angry, angry that I let my emotions get the best of me, instead of fighting for my best friend" I said, tears welling up, "I wish I could take it all back and tell her I'm sorry"
"I think she knew" he stated as he turned to me our eyes meeting, "You know the real reason I'm in my room?"
"Why?"
"Because Skailer's dad's upstairs and I feel like I failed him, which is weird because I know it wasn't my fault" he said as I wiped away a stray tear, "Truth is when I got that call, I was somewhat relieved. Not that she died but because it was an accident because these last few weeks I thought she'd take her own life.
Her episodes were so much worse and everyday I'd have to talk her off a cliff (unintended irony), because she didn't want to take her meds. Said they made her feel empty so I let her have her way"
"I'm sorry" I said as he gave me a weak smile
"Losing her is the worst feeling in the world but watching her suffer and knowing there was nothing I could do to help her, that was fucking heartbreaking" he said as I grabbed his hand, turning so that I was facing him
"She loved you and maybe she never said it because she knew she'd hurt you but she loved you. I saw it every time she looked at you" I said, wiping a tear off of his face before laying back down, a knock sounding on the door, "Who is it?"
"It's Jackson"
"And Alec"
"And Ian"
"Come in" sighed Caleb as the door slowly opened, revealing the three boys
"Mind if we join?" questioned Alec
"Sure thing" he mumbled as they picked either side of the floor, laying down and staring at the ceiling
"So what we doing?" asked Ian
"Just staring at the ceiling in silence until Caleb decides he's ready to face the world" I stated as he groaned in response
"That sounds good, but can we at least get some music in here?" questioned Jackson as I rolled my eyes
"This isn't your pity party" stated Caleb causing me to smile as I curled into his side
YOU ARE READING
The Anatomy Of Skailer King
Teen Fiction"I don't think you're broken, Skailer King. I just think the chemicals in your head are a little messed up"
