The Anatomy Of Skailer King

30.// songs and goodbyes

It was the day of the funeral and I'd spent all morning the mirror, debating what earrings to wear despite the great fact that the decision seemed pointless on a day like today.

"Mom wanted me to check on you" said Caleb, walking into my room and sitting on my bed

"Can't pick the right earrings" I mumbled as he stood up, making his way to the jewellery box before picking it up and pulling something out

"What's this?" he questioned as I stared at the familiar black USB in his hand

"I forgot I even had that. Apparently Skai made me a video" I said, grabbing the USB, "Never watched it"

"Well I can't think of a better time than now" he said, gesturing to my laptop as I rolled my eyes, handing him the USB

Caleb opened the laptop, putting in my password before plugging in the USB and grabbing a chair before pressing play.

The video started with Skailer sitting on her bed with legs crossed and her keyboard in front of her.

"Hey Richards. So I'm really bad at the word thing but you were one of my best friends in the whole world and I hated how we left things so I wrote you this short song to help you understand what you meant to me and what I was feeling, I hate being in front of the camera so I hope you like it, this is Slow it Down" she stopped talking as she started to press down on the piano keys

Slow It Down
Written by: 21stcenturyesthete
Sung by: 21stcenturyesthete a.k.a Skailer

When we first met, everything was moving too fast. You tired to stop everything, everything to keep me from falling through the cracks.

And it was enough.
Oh, you were enough.
Oh, I wish that I could've slowed it down
and done it all for you.
Oh, I wish that I could've slowed it down
and done it all for you.
Should've done it all for you.

Now I've lost myself and there ain't no taking it back, oh, I lost myself.
Oh, I lost myself.
I couldn't slow it down.
I couldn't slow it down.

"And that's it. I hope you like, sorry if my crying messed it up but I love you and I hope that even if we never talk again, you realize that you meant the world to me" she said as the screen went dark

"She was good" I commented, wiping away a tear

"More than the world will ever know" he stated as I leaned my head against his shoulder

I couldn't believe she wrote a song for me, I mean I thought she hated me and yet somehow that just made giving her eulogy that much harder.

"I'd written this whole speech about Skailer and about how great she was but you already knew that so instead I'm going to tell you about something you didn't know about Skailer King" I said, sliding the eulogy I'd written into the side of the podium, "She was afraid, afraid people wouldn't love her without her meds or that the world would judge her if they knew that she wasn't okay so she did things to make feel in control in moments like that, things like diving off cliffs and writing music and the along th way she forgot who she was. She forgot that she was the kind of friend who gave coming out pep talks, who turned a heartbreaker into a simpleton and who made a girl with social anxiety, fear the world a bit less and let the darkness in..."

Half way into the speech I blacked out, not literally but mentally I don't remember anything I said after that but from the hugs I received after, I thought I did a pretty great job.

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Author's note:

The link above will take you to my YouTube channel where you can hear the song sung and written by me.

Please comment, like and subscribe to my channel as all my books will come with songs and vlogs on my writing journey.

Thanks for the love and support

21stcenturyesthete, out!