Skailer's P.O.V
I had spent the last few days locked in my room, writing and listening to music, drowning out the urge to jump off of the nearest bridge.
My phone was under my bed, where I wouldn't find the need to scroll through my phone and text or call anyone.
"Skailer, there's someone here to see you" sounded my dad's voice as I buried myself deeper into my blanket
"The number you're dialing is unavailable, please try again later" I said before letting out a groan, "Preferably next month"
"Skailer Amber King, you cannot hide in your room forever" he stated as I sat up, pushing my messy curls out of my face
"I can try"
The door slowly creaked opened, revealing my dad who looked at me with a rather horrified face, which I was guessing was because he was looking at me for the first time in days and I looked like a mess.
"What are the chances, I can get you to leave this bedroom?" he questioned with a small smile as I shook my head before laying back down
"Very low" I stated with a groan as I stared at the ceiling
"Skai, this isn't you" he said coming further into the room, sitting by my feet and causing the bed to slightly sink, "You don't runaway"
"Well apparently I do"
"Skai-"
"Can we not do this" I sighed, continuing to stare at the ceiling, "I don't want to talk about how much of coward I am or how I'm a horrible person because I hurt Caleb and Cassidy or be lectured on how I'm supposed to feel"
"No one thinks you're a horrible person" he said as I sat up straight again
"No, you don't think I'm a horrible person" I pointed out as he sighed
"Well the person waiting downstairs doesn't seem to think you're a horrible person" he smiled as I looked at him with confusion
"Who is it?" I questioned
"She's says her name is Lila Woods" he stated, only managing to deepen my confusion
"Ummm... Give me a minute, I'll be down" I said as he nodded his head before exiting the room
I contemplated staying in bed a minute longer but instead decided against it and got dressed in a pair of black sweats and Caleb's hoodie which I kept because honestly I like that it still smelled like him, then I tied up my hair up in a messy bun before heading downstairs.
"I'll give you girls a minute" said my dad before leaving the kitchen, momentarily stopping and turning to me, "Eat something, please"
"Sure" I shrugged as he exited the room, my attention moving over to Lila who was sitting down behind the kitchen island, "Hey Lila"
"Hey" she said with a forced smile, "This seemed easier in my head"
"I've been there" I chuckled, grabbing a grape from the bowl my dad had randomly placed on the island and throwing it into my mouth
"I needed to tell you that Caleb called me" she said, my heart dropping as she spoke, "He told me he was in pain and that he knew what we had wasn't love because it didn't hurt this much when it ended. He also said that Cass won't talk to anyone or leave her room and I don't know why you mean so much to them but you do and they really miss you"
"Look, I get your worried about them but they'll get over it. I'm not someone who people can love, I'm a ticking time bomb and this isn't me being selfish. This is me deciding that they don't deserve to worry about me every single time I don't pick up my phone or when I'm too sad to get out of bed" I explained as she gave me a look of pity, "I need not to be the burden so if you're here because you expect me to come back to school then I'm sorry but that isn't going to happen"
"I didn't come to get you to come back, I came to tell you that I'm sorry for misjudging you. You're not selfish, Skailer King and I know that because you had the guts to do something I didn't...leave before you hurt someone you care about" she admitted, my eyes slightly softening as I looked into hers, not sure I was getting what she was saying, "I don't have the family that talks about these things so for so long I thought I was crazy when is shift between emotions or feel too many things at once, I felt like-"
"Passenger driver is a car driving too fast on too many lanes at once and realising you're not in control and that no one is driving" I stated as she nodded her head, wiping away a stay tear, "It effects 1% of the population"
"I got diagnosed at the beginning of the year" she said as I grabbed her hand
"I'm not going to give you some speech about how it gets easier or how you're not alone because a good percent of the tome in a room filled with people who you love you, you'll feel completely alone" I said, not really know what I was supposed to say
I mean in all my years with bipolar disorder, I have never talked to anyone else with it. My therapist had told me to try support group but I hated talking about it and now here Lila was, unloading it all and I could tell her nothing other than it doesn't get easier.
"I'm sorry for unloading all of this on-" she said as I wrapped my arms around her, which seemed to be the only thing I could possibly do
We sat like that for a moment until we pulled apart both quiet as we wiped away our tears.
"I made this for Cass, I'm not in the best place but I just thought she know what she meant to me and that I'm sorry I couldn't be okay for her" I said handing her a black USB, "And if you ever need to just sit in a complete silence while watching Korean dramas, I'm here"
"Thanks" she smiled before giving me another hug
YOU ARE READING
The Anatomy Of Skailer King
Fiksi Remaja"I don't think you're broken, Skailer King. I just think the chemicals in your head are a little messed up"
