𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝐻𝑜𝑝𝑒 {𝐻𝑎𝑛𝑗𝑖 𝑍𝑜𝑒 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟}

10. 57th Recon Mission

"𝚃𝚘 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢" -Armin Arlert

<Y/N's POV>

(20 Min Until 57th Recon Mission Departure)

"Y/N we will ride out in 20 minutes alright" Hanji announced to me before quickly turning her back.

"Alright, Hanji but we-" I try to start a conversation with them but as soon as they pick up on that they walk off before I can successfully get a sentence out.

Since yesterday when I told her I wouldn't allow her to ignore me she's been intentionally trying to shorten our interactions. She says what she needs to and simply walks off. I don't know why it bothers me so much I mean I literally told her to do this and yet the very idea of her not wanting to speak to me pisses me off.

This whole thing pisses me off. I can't be worrying about this right now. I have to focus on the mission and nothing else.

The 57th recon mission. This was the proposal that Commander Erwin made that saved Eren and I's lives. Should this mission fail there's no telling what the MP's and the rest of the government will want to do with us.

Eren is part of squad four. Squad four is located in the center of the formation while Hanji and I are in squad one that covers the entire left side of the formation.

Hanji is part of the supply division so we will ride on the outskirts of the formation pretty much just providing support for the entirety of the formation. Since Hanji leads squad one she will ride with Erwin until we separate to form the full long-distance formation.

Of course, I was tasked to stick with Hanji so I will be with her throughout the whole thing.

The new scout recruits should already be with Eren and Captain Levi. I know Mikasa and Armin were probably dying to see Eren. Mikasa has been talking about nothing but seeing Eren since we first found out about the mission.

It was nothing over the top or anything but it was pretty much Miaksa's version of gushing.

"It's time to start falling into our positions, Y/N... you're with me" Hanji called out to me as we mounted our horses and prepared to ride out. I haven't been in the field since Trost. Honestly,  I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. It's not fear.

So what the hell is this pit at the bottom of my stomach? Titans have never scared me so the idea of the mission itself isn't a problem.

"Yeah alright, I'm coming" I announce as I pull on the reins of my horse to turn it around and ride toward Hanji. I settle my horse next to hers and we face each other. Their eyes stay stuck on mine and even though I know it was probably less than a minute I can still make out the worried expression on her face.

What is she so worried about though? I'm certain she's been on plenty of these recon missions before and I know it's not the idea of titans that's got her all worked up. I know Hanji well enough and the thought of titans only excites her.

"Hey what are you thinking about huh?" I ask them even though I  am concerned you couldn't hear it in my voice. Same emotionless tone as always. I can't manage to be any other way, I don't wanna be any other way. Emotion is useless to me.

"I guess it's just pre-mission jitters that's all. But you don't seem worried at all... Y/N promise me you'll be careful alright?" I look at them and I can see the worry on their face. I don't like that expression. I hate that she thinks she has to worry about me, I don't need them too. I don't want their worry.