Stories of a hormonal girl in the aro spec ↝ Rants, facts, tags.

rant? - the science of cuddling

Hello again- welcome to my rant. So today we are gonna talk about cuddles.

I usually am not a very physical person and I prefer to not be touched (i push away and glare my friends who try to pinch my cheeks, i try to avoid hugs etc). But the one physical thing that I really don't mind doing is cuddles. I love cuddling with someone while watching a movie or simply cuddle with them late at night before going to bed. The problem is that cuddles are supposed to be a relationship thing. Well news flash I'm probably never gonna be in a relationship. Even the concept of QPRs makes me kind of uncomfortable. Idk I don't think QPRs are for me. So I will most likely never have a partner. So I will not be able to cuddle with my special someone. 

The point of this whole thing was to ask why do cuddles have to be a couple thing? I mean sure some people cuddle with their friends as well if they don't mind and I wish I could do that but it is not an option since in my country cuddling usually means being together and they would find it weird or go "Why don't you just find a boyfriend?" or something similar. So I need the world to normalise cuddles between friends. If you are having a movie night with your friend why can't you cuddle with them instead of sitting uncomfortably on different edges of the couch? And why is it weird to do it? I mean in my homophobic country hugging your friends who are the same gender as you is okay but the opposite gender can only receive romantic hugs? The same goes with cuddling but no matter what your genders are cuddling is supposed to be a strictly romantic thing. Me and K have reached a level where we are comfortable with each other and we often sit really close to each other or in a weird comfortable position when watching movies but cuddles STILL seem weird with your best friend.

Yes I understand that with the pandemic any sort of physical touch is impossible. I am talking about a time when (hopefully) there will be no coronavirus.

Okay now I have to tell you something really important when cuddling. Y'all need to RELAX and not think about stressful things like your job or an upcoming exam or other things. Why? Well to explain, I have to tell you something about my family first. As I said before we have a really close bond and we love each other a lot. At nights we usually spend some time all together in the living room, either each of us doing something different, watching tv or eating dinner. More often than not, we cuddle. My parents are the only people that I don't really mind the physical contact part with. Anyway, as I said we cuddle a lot. Especially me and my mom. And she is a really stressed person because she has a pretty stressful job and she also has to deal with housework, taking care of me (and my dad to be honest) and spending some time to herself. So she really is stressed all the time. When we cuddle we rarely talk so she finds time to think about all the stressful stuff. I understand, I really do heck I get stressed so easily while my country is not on lockdown. But at cuddles it really is annoying when the other person is stressed. My mom has a number of nervous habits like tapping her foot, biting her nails or picking them, trying to remove any leftovers of food from her mouth without using a toothpick or a toothbrush and more. Well let me tell you it really annoys me when she doesn't relax while cuddling because she starts one of her habits and her whole body moves, causing me also to move and yeah it becomes annoying since I can't relax with my body moving every two seconds.

SO for the love of anything important to you, when you cuddle let go of all the stress of the day and think about relaxing things not all the schoolwork you need to finish or the chores you have left. Thing about the movie you want to watch or your favourite pet etc.

I know this was a short rant but I wanted it out of me :P

Love, Sophie