Ellie

Chapter Nine

        I am fast walking out of the hospital as they try to walk and talk at the same time to convince me into staying but they should know by now that it won’t work at all so they should stop trying. I grab the stroller on the way and then walk out the front two sliding doors and run to a taxi. Now I know that I am making the right decision, I am doing a good thing going home for the first time since my parents died, I am one more step closer to home. As the taxi driver is driving he is humming a song, I recognize it so well it annoys me so much that I don’t know it. Then I get it, Its my moms favorite song. It is Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Its her song that she used to always play on the records when I came home from school, and then when I woke up in the morning, and when my momma was sad. It was Her song.

    As the taxi driver is driving up the street to my house, I feel like something that has been missing inside of me just filled up a little bit more. But there is still a gap there and I have a feeling that it will never and can never be filled. I pay the taxi driver and rush up to my house. Ellie has a huge smile and is laughing every time I start jogging. I want to be careful because Ellie is still a new baby. I get inside the door and for someone reason I had to yell “Mama I'm home! What is dad cooking for dinner?” For some reason this makes me happy and I walk into the study, expecting dad to be sitting there, writing his “Art that you can read” (dad calls it this because he thinks its more inspirational but it is really just another boring book.) but of course no one was there. The room is still filled with boxes since we just moved in one month ago weeks ago. Then I walk into the kitchen expecting mama to be in there making her salad. Since she has been a vegetarian for a year now. But of course no one is there either. So I just walk up to my room and set up a little space for Ellie and then change my clothes. Ellie is taking a nap so I decide to go fix three PB&J sandwiches and sit on mama and dads bed.

“Hey guys , I brought you some food. You probably are starving since you haven’t eaten for a week” I know this is crazy, but it actually feels like its real. I know its not real though, so I’m not crazy, it just feels right to talk to them even though they are dead. I am turning around to walk back to my old room or still my actual room and I hear Ellie start to cry like she just got hurt really badly and then I look over the into my room from the hallway and I see her crying and crying and won’t stop so I run into my room pick her up and cradle her saying “what's wrong Ellie, what's wrong,” but of course she doesn’t answer with real words just letters mixed together that sound like “be-g-i-ny h-u-o,” which sounds a lot like behind you and it scares me a but for some reason I slowly turn around and there she is, my mother, standing right in front of me and I have no clue if its a hallucination or if she is real and I’m kinda scared she is real.

I’m surprised I haven’t hugged her yet, but I’m afraid to, because I don’t wanna find out that she isn’t actually standing right in front of me and I don’t wanna try to hug her and end up going through her like the movies. I’m trying to find out something to say but before I get a chance she starts talking.

“Hi Isabelle, hey ellie! I’ve missed you.”

“h-h-hi mom.. I’ve missed you too, are you real? Or am I hallucinating?”

“I don’t know you tell me, or you will just find out later, but I need to talk to you.”

“um, ok then you can talk now…”

I mean what else could I have said, I don’t know what to say at all I’m completely full of sadness and madness and regret and I don’t know I’m just going mad.

“I needed to tell you that Everything will be okay. Your doing great with Ellie.”

“Mama, I missed you so much! I need your help. I don’t know how I can take care of Ellie by myself and no one is helping me out. Nana and Gramps are not on my side and I am alone. This is all my fault and dad even said so! Everything that has happened is my fault. Even Ellie getting sick is my fault.”

“Honey, thats why I gave you all that money. You can do this. None of this is your fault. Your father never said that it was your fault, that was just your mind blaming yourself. This is all just because of your Uncle making some stupid decisions and I wish I could help you out and cuddle Ellie with you but…”

“Mama, please don’t leave! I need you to help me. I feel so lonely and I miss you and dad, why isn’t he here with you! Did you see him? Is he in heaven with you?”

Then mama smiled, reached for my hand and right before she could touch me Gramps walked in and just like that, she was gone.

Gramps said he would stay at the house with me for a night but then we had to go back. Ellie needed to be cared for and Gramps was hurt because I was willing to leave and never come back. That night I had the same dream of my family dying but this time I got to finish the dream, I turned around and Ellie fell off a cliff while she was screaming just like mama. I realized that all of the daisies were dead. Then Gramp’s and Nana looked at me and fell back. Everyone in the dream was dead but me, I was the only one left. All of a sudden, mamas voice came in the wind and it said “We still love you, this was never your fault. Your as stunning as I remember and you always will be. Keep fighting the battles and never give up. It will just bring you to this.” After that, all the bodies were gone and I was in a bright room. My Uncle Bryan was standing in front of me, I now feel like I am ready to kill anything in my way. This man in front of me is evil and he is definitely not my Uncle.

    “I hate you! Your not my uncle! You killed my parents and almost killed me! I hate you! Your evil!” and just like that that man was gone and I was awake in my old room where that man almost killed me.