The wolves of Castle Black - Book 2 - GoT

To kill a man

"You haven't talked to me much since that day."

Ylina wanted to ignore Jon, she really did. But how could she when they were the only two people in the room besides Embar? Sighing heavily, the girl continued to place some heavy furs on the few windows of the room she would be staying in. When Ylina didn't answer him, Jon looked at her, bouncing Embar in his arms as the boy giggled.

"Lina." He called.

"I haven't talked to you because I know what you would want to talk about." She finally spoke up, and even though she wasn't looking at him, Jon was glad she was at least talking.

"We should talk about that."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You killed a man, Ylina. An unarmed man."

At that, Ylina scoffed, picking up another fur blanket and securing it against the last of the three windows in the room.

"He was sentenced to death anyway." She answered dryly.

"He should have withstanded trial." Jon tried to argue. "A just trial. You should have granted him that mercy."

"You were the one who wanted to kill him the very same day he tried to kill me, so don't come giving me those stupid lectures now, Jon. You're just as bit as cruel as I am."

"I wasn't thinking straight, Lina." Jon countered. "He tried to kill you, of course I was angry."

"And I wasn't?" Ylina asked, finally turning around to face Jon as her eyes, for the first time in days, met her brother's. "Why is it that it is alright for you to wish him dead and not me? He worked for the Boltons. The Boltons killed Robb. If that is not enough reason for me to be angry, I don't know what is."

That was when Jon noticed how Ylina's hands were shaking as she held onto her furs tightly. Jon wasn't sure if she was angry or scared or maybe a bit of both, but as he noticed his sister's eyes filling with tears, he was quick to jump into action. Placing Embar down on the bed near him, he quickly moved to Ylina gathering her in his arms as he allowed her to shake against him.

He could feel her taking deep breaths, clearly trying to calm herself down and during this time, Jon said nothing, simply holding Ylina to offer her as much comfort as he could. Once the girl's breathing was even once more, she stepped out of her brother's embrace and lifted her chin up so she could look at him. Jon smiled gently at her, placing a hand on her cheek as his eyes travelled from her eyes to the scars on her neck. He sighed when he saw the deep purple marks.

"You're right. I'm sorry." He nodded at her, as Ylina shook her head as if dismissing his apologies. "It's just... I know it's hard... Killing a man for the first time."

"It wasn't the first time I killed a man, Jon." The girl whispered, causing Jon to frown at her. She exhaled sharply, as the memory of her first proper kill replayed in her head. "I have killed before in the Battle of Wolfswood against the Ironborn. Sure, I was at a long distance and the adrenaline of the field made it feel as if I was just practicing my aim, but I killed some men then. My first up close death, however... When the Ironborn left Winterfell, they had stabbed Maester Luwin. He had managed to crawl away from them, but when Bran, Rickon and I found him in the godswood, he was pale and barely breathing. The boys said their goodbyes and I sent him away because, as much as it hurt me, I knew I had to end Maester Luwin's suffering. So I stabbed him. Right in the chest so it wouldn't take long, but I was the one who killed Maester Luwin."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Jon frowned.

"I'm sure you went through worse." She replied with a sad smile.