This Feeling: Love

Chapter Eleven

Sam woke up to the buzzing of his cell phone. Thinking it was his alarm, he picked it up to turn it off. Instead his phone was a glaring light as his phone was lit up with a text from Trevor.

"You up?"

Sam groaned, but he opened the message anyway. "I am now," he replied.

"I can't sleep."

"How come?" Sam's face turned to confusion until the image came back to him. But not before another text from Trevor got to him first. "I'm sorry about earlier."

Sam moved to lay on his back as he sent another text to Trevor. "Are you talking about in my room earlier? If so, It's fine," he replied.

"I still feel guilty about it."

Samuel groaned again. "What is it with him and guilt?" he muttered. He lifted his phone again. "Don't, Trevor. It wasn't your fault."

"Your ears turned red, though, before your mom called us to dinner. Doesn't that mean you were trying not to let me see you were upset?"

Sam's heart hammered in his chest. Shit, he thought. The adrenaline kicked in and his fingers flew across the keyboard on his phone. "My ears turning red doesn't mean I'm upset, Trevor."

"Then what does it mean?"

"It means I was...embarrassed...like you were."

"Embarrassed? Why?"

Sam nearly threw his phone. "Trevor! You are the most oblivious man I have ever met!" he hissed. "Trevor! You fucking kissed me! Why the fuck do you think I was embarrassed?!"

The phone went quiet, and Sam received two separate texts from Trevor. "...oh..."

"So...what does that mean for us?" Trevor asked.

"I don't know what it means. I think we'll just have to...come to terms with it on our own. Or at least I have to."

"Meaning...?"

"Meaning I need to think about it, so don't say a word about it until further notice."

"Okay...I'll see you tomorrow."

"We'll talk more in the morning. Goodnight."

Sam put his phone onto his nightstand, and turned away from it. Despite his efforts, Sam smiled as he curled up and thought of Trevor as he fell into a deep sleep.

Meanwhile, Trevor lay awake, staring at the ceiling, the image of him kissing Sam replaying in his head. Guilt festered in his chest until it disappeared in an instant. Would Sam ever have let me get that far before?

He shot up to a sitting position and smiled to himself, remembering what Sam had said over text about him blushing. "It means I was...embarrassed...like you were."

He laid back down on his side, mirroring the way Sam would sleep, and fell asleep.

The next morning, the two of them met at their usual corner, and the first few moments of silence lasted longer than they preferred, until Sam broke it. "Hi," he said.

This is so awkward, Trevor thought. "Hey," he replied.

Sam fidgeted with the frame of his glasses, refusing to meet Trevor's eyes. Eventually, he forced himself to make eye contact, and speak to Trevor. "So...last night..." he started.

Trevor rubbed the back of his neck. "That kiss was unintentional, Sam. I didn't mean to—"

"Trevor, hush. I don't hate you for it. I just...my brain is having problems processing this whole thing." Samuel paused. "Is your head okay?" he asked, changing the subject.