The stories that killed their writer

Chapter 37: I'm not crazy

Lana's POV

"So how were things this week?"

I was looking away, at the environment. I looked at every little piece of furniture in this room. Somehow, it seemed I discovered new things every time I was here.

"Lana?"

I sighed and shrugged. "Things are fine, I guess."

"Is there a reason you're acting so cold towards me?"

I then looked at Stephanie - Dr.Hansen in therapy. "I'm not acting cold," I folded my arms. "There's just nothing to say." Truth is, there was a lot to say. I wanted to talk about Shax and how it was getting closer to me. I wanted to talk about my characters and how they were acting strange. I wanted to talk about the fight Steph and Mel had, however, I knew it was better not to.

Stephanie sighed deeply. She closed her notebook. "I think we better stop here," She got up. "You're clearly not up for it today."

I looked away.

"Lana," She paused before adding: "You can go."

I gulped.

"Lana?"

"Shax is getting stronger," I said and saw Stephanie sit down again in the corner of my eyes. "Yesterday I was writing for an hour with Shax behind me, looking over my shoulder at what I was writing," I gulped. "It's getting more dangerous, I feel unsafe at home."

Stephanie didn't say anything, she didn't even open her notebook. She simply seemed to listen. And right now, I didn't want anything else.

"When I talked to Leila or Wednesday about this, they acted strangely," I gulped. "It's as if they're keeping something from me and I hate that," For the first time since I started talking, I looked at Stephanie. "If I can't trust my characters, then who can I trust?"

She seemed to take some time to respond to me, as if she had to make up a perfect reply in her mind. She looked at her notebook. "I have never seen any of your characters or Shax," She looked at me again. "But hearing those things do worry me, Lana."

I raised my eyebrows.

"The more you tell me about Shax, the more I worry," She sighed. "I've talked about this with a colleague of mine and we - "

"You what?!" I got up immediately.

"Lana, sit down so we can talk about this."

"You went behind my back and talked to someone else?!"

Stephanie took a moment to reply, as if she was hoping my anger would lessen. "Your problems are unique, Lana," She looked at me. "I wanted to make sure you'd get the best support, so yes, I talked to a colleague of mine."

I looked away, folding my arms again.

"She gave me some insight."

I looked at her.

"Lana," She got up too now and reached for me, holding on to my arm. "You're seeing people and figures which no one else can see."

I slowly nodded.

She sighed. "That's a perfect example of someone who's losing touch with reality."

My anger disappeared entirely, I dropped my arms by my side, my facial expression saddened. "W-what?"

"Look, it's not a bad thing, we can figure out a way to deal with this - "

"What?!" I repeat, though this time a bit angrier.

She sighed again. "What you witness, isn't normal, Lana," She put her hand on my shoulder, as if comforting me. "But together we'll work on that."

I shrugged her hand off my shoulder and stepped backward. I was beyond upset right now. I just couldn't accept this. Stephanie was always here for me, listening to what I was saying, understanding me. What happened?

"I made some calls for you to get a spot at a local center," She walked to her desk and came back with some papers. "You should attend therapy sessions there twice a week, you also - "

"I don't need this, Steph."

She seemed surprised I'd get so casual with her. She took a moment to collect herself again. "Take this home and go over it, we'll discuss this next therapy session."

Even though I disagreed wholeheartedly, I did take the papers. I then walked to the door, I was so ready to leave.

"I'll see you next session." She extended her hand for me to shake it.

I shook it and pushed past her. I left the house and went home.

____________________________

I had gone home to read the papers Stephanie had given me. I was furious when I read those. She really thought I was crazy... I lost her. No, she lost me. I'm not going back there, I'm done with people who don't understand me.

I couldn't seem to get rest at home, so I left again. I went to the park and sat down at the bench there.

When I sat down, I didn't do anything anymore. I looked around, at the people. I once again tried to think about their life stories. However, I didn't feel it today. I was too upset. It's like hearing those words from someone you care about... It really hurts. I just never thought Stephanie would say that.

I looked down, at my hands. I brought them together. I spotted my wedding ring, I still had Melody. She supported me, kind of. I wonder what she'd say if she knew the truth. Would she think I'm crazy too? Would she send me away too? Would she break my heart too?

Tears started streaming down my face. I felt betrayed. I felt hurt. I felt lost. How could Stephanie do this to me? After all the torture with Shax... I thought she'd spare me.

"Lana?"

I looked up and saw Chelsea and Isaac.

They immediately seemed to notice I wasn't doing well. Chelsea immediately took a seat right next to me. "Hey," She wrapped her arm around me, comforting me. "It's alright."

Isaac took a seat on the other side of me. "Whatever it is, we're here for you."

I looked down. "Thanks." I wiped my tears away.

For the remainder of the afternoon, they stayed with me. They comforted me, they hugged me, they were here for me. When I lost everything, they brought back what I needed the most: support.