The stories that killed their writer

Chapter 29: Do what you love

Lana's POV

I was eating cereal, on my own. I didn't really mind, I was mainly thinking. I couldn't stop thinking about last night, about Shax's strange and violent behavior. I noticed it getting more aggressive, and I wondered why. Would it really be able to get to me? To... kill me?

"Morning," Melody said as she entered the kitchen. She took a yogurt and a piece of fruit before sitting down in front of me. "Lana?"

I blinked before I looked at her. "Morning." I looked down then, to my cereal.

"Are you alright now?"

I nodded slowly, I didn't want her to worry. She was so nice to me, and I'm cheating on her. I'm lying to her. I'm the worst wife ever.

She sighed. "Lana," She placed her hand on mine, making me stop eating. "I have to say it," She said, gaining my attention immediately. "I'm so proud of you."

I smiled sadly before looking down.

"I know how much you love writing, but you found a real job for me, for our family," She squeezed my hand a bit. "Thank you."

I nodded slowly. "I had to," I looked at her. "For us."

She smiled but nodded.

After breakfast, I went to the front door to get my jacket. Melody followed me, as she was about to leave for work too. "I can give you a ride if you want?"

"Don't bother," I closed my jacket and looked at her. "I'll be fine."

She nodded.

I opened the front door, intending to leave, but stopped. I turned around. "Before I forget," I said, gaining her attention. "I'll be home later, I'll be having dinner with colleagues."

Melody smiled a bit, I couldn't make out if she was happy that I was 'bonding with my colleagues' or upset because she wanted me home. "Ok."

I nodded and then headed out.

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I hate work. There, I said it. Why do people do this? Sure, they need money to survive, but there's so much more in life. I earned money doing something I really loved... And I gave it up, for this. Sometimes I could punch myself for letting that amazing job go.

"Lana," My boss came to me. "The report you handed in was good, I hope this is what you'll keep giving me."

"Of course, sir."

He nodded before heading out, probably going to another meeting.

I sighed before looking around the office. I was so bored, I wondered if others are bored too. Should I ask? It's probably best if I don't.

Then the phone rang, I reached for it but heard the dial tone. I frowned then until I realized my phone when off. I reached for it and sighed before answering. "Hey, Isaac."

"Lana," He paused, I assumed Chelsea was with him. I could hear it in the way he was speaking. "We want you back here. You're our best author."

I looked down, gulping.

"We know how much you loved your job, you know how much we love having you here," He paused yet again. "Please come back."

I was looking down, at my hand, my wedding ring came into view. I gulp before I said: "I'm not coming back, I've moved on. Being a writer is my hobby, it's not a real job."

Isaac huffed. "Am I speaking to Melody all of a sudden?"

I frowned. "Goodbye, Isaac." I then hung up the phone and let out a deep breath. I then went back to work.

_________________________

I let out a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. What am I doing here? Why was I here? I couldn't stop feeling bad about my actions but, at the same time, I couldn't stop my actions. I was eager to be here, to see her.

The door opened. "Hey Lana," Stephanie smiled at me. "Get in." She moved aside for me to enter. She took my jacket and put it away before guiding me to her living room. Her living room was on the left side while the other room - we did therapy in - was on the right side.

We sat down on her couch. I was looking around at everything in her house, every little piece of furniture which would tell something about her. Each of those things combined would be her.

I could feel Stephanie look at me, she seemed amused almost. She didn't say anything, she didn't stop me when I got up to look at everything, she just let me be. Somehow, I appreciated that. It's as if she knew what to do with me, she understood me.

After some time, I got back to the couch.

"And," Stephanie said, gaining my attention. "Did you get it all in?"

I chuckled. "Not funny."

"I'm not joking," She smiled at me. "It's quite beautiful to see someone look at everything in awe the way you do."

I smiled before looking away. I found it hard to stay calm in her presence. I wasn't worried or scared, but I felt nervous - the good kind. I felt my heart beat faster, I felt my throat dry up, I felt the words stuck in my throat... I had a crush on her. And she knew.

"Thanks for meeting me here," She said before leaning forward and pouring some red wine in 2 glasses. She then handed one to me before taking the other for herself. "I'm always happy to be with you."

I smiled a bit.

"To us." She presented her glass to me.

I slowly nodded. "To us." We toasted before we both took a sip.

Stephanie then put her glass down before scooting even closer to me, she wrapped her arm around my back. "So, how was your day?"

"It was ok," I looked at her arm around me, I was suddenly aware this was wrong - I'm married. "But I hate office life."

She nodded, a sad face appeared. "Why aren't you doing what you love?"

I looked down then.

"You're an amazing writer, your fans love what you write," With her free hand, she reached for mine, holding it in hers. "Why aren't you doing what you love?"

I looked at her. "I..." I looked away a bit. "I want to make Melody proud of me."

"Has she read any of your stories?"

I sighed before slowly shaking my head.

"She should," She said, gaining my attention. "You're amazing," She smiled then. "You should continue what you love doing, you have to."

"I know," I sighed. "I'm trying."

"How is Shax?"

I looked at her. "It attacked me," I looked down, at my hands. I brought them together to support myself somehow. "It wants to kill me," I gulped. "I'm so terrified."

She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. "I won't let that happen," She hugged me for a while, occasionally patting my back. "I promise."

I hugged her back, I felt really safe in that embrace. But I did wonder... "What are you going to do then?"

She pulled back to look me in the eyes. "We're going to talk to Shax," She then squeezed my hand a bit. "Together."