The stories that killed their writer

Chapter 27: What's right or wrong?

Lana's POV

I was tapping my fingers on my desk. I was looking around, observing what others were doing here. I wondered why they were here, what drove them to this job? Why would you want to spend your days in an office? It felt like wasting time, like wasting life, to me.

"Is that report done, Lana?"

I looked up and noticed my boss. "Uhm, almost," I sat up straight, as I noticed I was almost slumped over to one side. "I'll get back to you."

He didn't seem pleased but didn't say anything, he simply walked back to his office.

I sighed and sat back again, I went back to looking at my co-workers. I wondered how their lives must be, would they also have cheated on their partner? Would they also want to do their passion? Would they also have a demon following them?

I wondered if Shax was with me, here. If it was, where would it be? I haven't felt Shax since this morning, but the fact I felt it, tells me it was coming back.

I sighed as I looked at my computer screen, at the report I was supposed to make. I had written no more than 5 words, it just wouldn't seem to work. My body seemed to fight any action I should be doing for this job. I realized that sounded stupid, it was a weak excuse. Yet, I couldn't help it.

I always seemed to want to open an empty document and write. I seemed to want to write and continue my story. My mind was racing with ideas and words for my story, it was so difficult to concentrate. I could literally see the story happen before my eyes, how was I supposed to work like this?

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I was glad lunchtime came soon. My boss wasn't too harsh on me for not having finished the report. I told him I would finish it after lunch, he agreed.

I figured being away from the company and getting some fresh air would do me well. Maybe my brain would get some air to concentrate better afterward. I don't know... It was worth a try.
I noticed, since I started working here 3 days ago, having lunch outside the company helped me to work better afterward. So I kept doing it.

I was seated on a bench in the park. While I was eating my sandwich, I was looking at what was happening around me. I loved looking at other people, I loved thinking about their stories. I always wondered what had happened to them and what was happening now. Maybe that's the writer inside of me...

Like a man and a woman not that far from me. They were having lunch together but were also clearly enjoying each other's company. I wondered what their relationship is, would they be siblings? Or husband and wife meeting up at lunch? Or just friends? Or co-workers? Or cousins? And why would they meet up? Maybe they haven't seen each other in a while? Maybe this was the only time they could see each other? Maybe the man had a crush on the woman and was trying to get to her? Or maybe the man was married and the woman was trying to get to him? Maybe one of them recently got hurt by someone else and the other was trying to cheer them up? So many possibilities, so many ideas... It truly fascinated me.

As I finished my sandwich, I spotted someone I didn't want to see... Stephanie... She was walking by herself and seemed to be looking around. Was she looking for me? We did meet up here before...

I got up and immediately, but casually, made my way behind the trees. When I got there, I saw her getting closer to the bench I was originally seated at. She looked around before sitting down on the bench.

I figured I could just walk away and avoid her altogether, but I needed to be certain she wouldn't see me. What if she would follow me?

She got up and continued her walk down the park, she seemed to disappear out of my sight. I retreated behind the tree and let out a breath. I then realized how stupid this must seem to outsiders...

I shrugged it off before looking at the direction I had seen Stephanie go to but jump scared when I saw her standing right in front of me.

"Hey, Lana."

I gulped. "Steph..."

"Can we talk?"

I looked away, anywhere but her. Maybe Bree was right, maybe I was afraid of my feelings. What if I started to really like Stephanie? I didn't want to hurt Melody. I'd hate myself. I always hate cheaters in stories, I would always say how stupid they are. Though, now that I'm in that position, I immediately look at it from a different point.

"Lana?"

I looked at Stephanie again before nodding.

We walked to the bench I was seated at before. While we were seated, I had brought my hands together and was holding them tightly. I was looking anywhere but her, I must look like a nervous wreck...

"Lana," Stephanie breathed out, she sighed deeply right after. "I'm sorry..."

I looked at her.

"I know I shouldn't have kissed you," She looked down, also trying to hide her face from me. "The kiss was a mistake, it never should've happened," She looked away from me then. "I have no feelings for you whatsoever."

I gulped. Somehow it hurt me to hear that... "R-really?" I really didn't know why I was so upset to hear that...

She nodded but still didn't look at me.

"Oh..." I looked in front of me then. "Ok then..." I sighed. "So it meant nothing?"

"Nope," She kept looking away. "Nothing at all."

I sighed, I knew she was lying. I could sense it. I knew that that kiss meant something, I felt it. I turned my body towards her. "Steph," I said, gaining her attention finally though she didn't let me see her face. "I know what we did was wrong," I sighed deeply. "But it meant something to me."

She then looked at me. I now saw just how upset she was, she really seemed depressed almost. And I wondered: was I to blame? "Really?" 

I nodded. "This is wrong, I don't want to be a cheater," I looked at her again. "I don't know what this is, Steph, I mean..."

Before I could say anything else, she put her finger on my lips, shutting me up. "It's ok," She smiled a bit. "Let's not talk about what's right and wrong, I know what I feel. I just want to enjoy this feeling, do you get that?"

I nodded.

She smiled even more before leaning in closer and planting her lips on mine yet again.