Hades Titans {BOOK 2}

XVII. Sheets

We returned home defeated. The day had chewed us up and spat us out lifeless. I'm not good enough for my baby. How am I supposed to feel about it? I knew I had every right to break down and cry. To be terrified of the future that was coming, but there was nothing. No feeling. No pain. No fear.

It was raining again, and the weather was as miserable as we were. We drove home in silence. Hayden had been avoiding any eye contact. I knew he was angry that I hadn't given him an option. I understood his position. His only options were to choose between me or the baby. There was no easy way out. As much as I wished we could make all the decisions together, this baby was inside my body and it was my decision to keep it in there or terminate it. If I terminated the baby my heart would break and

I was still on bed rest for another week, but I was too tired to not appreciate it. I laid down in our bed as soon as we got home. Hayden drew the curtain shut, making the room descend into darkness. I was too exhausted to try and force a conversation between us. I watched him pace from one room to the next, before approaching the bed.

"I – I need to go do some work. Will you be okay if I leave you for a couple of hours?" Despite talking to me and standing in front of me, his eyes never met mine. What did he expect me to do? What kind of mother would I be?

"Sure." I smiled; though I knew he couldn't see it. He bobbed his head for a couple of seconds, before turning around. I heard him collect his keys, before leaving.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders when he left. Like I no longer needed to pretend to be guilty about keeping our baby alive. I didn't care what it did to me. Most mothers, parents, siblings wouldn't. Any decent person would do whatever they could to keep their baby alive even if it meant giving up their own life.

My eyes felt like they were full of glass and I couldn't keep them open any longer. My body had given into the lifeless day.

Phoenix's P.O.V.

My vision was blurry, and I could hardly taste the alcohol traveling down my tongue. My whole body was swaying to the beat of the songs and the flashing lights of the club. Every table I touched was sticky from the alcohol and my shoes stuck to the floor. I had several girls and guys dancing around me, or with me, I couldn't tell anymore. I was in deep need of some water to clear some of my vision, or maybe a busboy to walk me home and lie with me in bed. I watched the shadows dance around me as a darker silhouette approached me. I felt them place a small blue pill in my hand. There was nothing that was going to make things any worse for me, so I placed it on my tongue and let it fizz away. My vision didn't clear, only turning blurrier and making me hallucinate silhouettes and faces that weren't there.

It was not long that I found myself at home with two adorable boys and three girls. I was lying in my bed, surrounded by their naked bodies, yet the only person on my mind was Evelyn. I knew she couldn't be there with us, but I felt like she was. I could smell her perfume and her silhouette radiated around us. Perhaps it was my needy mind, making her up so I would enjoy the company of these strangers. Just the thought of her made my blood boil with lust. She was like a parasite invading my mind. There was nothing I could do, including spending my night with five others that were going to relieve me of my endless thoughts of Evelyn. It was only worse that we had slept together on Earth and it was the best sex I had ever had. Knowing I could never have that again, I could never have her again, it was soul-crushing. If I even had one.

"Nick?" I heard the girls whisper, drawing me closer and closer into our usually exciting 6 way. I continued to entertain them, despite hardly feeling anything from the drugs I had taken. I could only think of her, I only wanted to think of her, I wanted her.

I spent the night being pleased by my five playmates, but I awoke craving more. I wanted more and more and more! I needed more! Nothing was going to be enough. I needed her. I had to have her. I thought the night before I wanted her more than I ever could, but I woke up wanting her even more. I could hardly breathe. It felt like she was the air filling my lungs. Like she was running through my body. It felt like there's a magnet attracting me to her.

I chucked the duvet to the floor, waking the five strangers in my bed. I bowed my head, frustrated with myself and my unsatisfied lust. I didn't have to say a word. My expression was enough to make them leave. They quickly collected their clothes off the floor and rushed for the door. The slam of the door felt like a huge relief. Like I no longer needed to pretend and hide my love for Evelyn.

I collapsed back into my filthy sheets and laid there staring at my ceiling. My mind wandered, mostly about Evelyn. Secretly praying that she had already forgotten the kiss or better that she was thinking of it as fondly as I was. Don't be ridiculous. How laughable? What am I thinking? I shook it off and quickly got up, stripping the sheets onto the floor, before jumping in the shower.