Hades Titans {BOOK 2}

XXXV. Rage

Phoenix P.O.V.

The world in front of me was spinning uncontrollably. This and that and something else. My mind was overloaded with information. Evelyn was slowly dying, again at the hands of my brother. He didn't deserve her. The whole time I thought they belonged together and I was in their way. But she deserved better. She deserved the world. Instead she was dying. Slowly giving her life to his offspring. For what? For it to be used by Rory?

Rage. It was the only emotion cruising through my veins. It had nothing to do with Axl or my feelings towards Evelyn. It was the whole thing. The war. The army. The unborn child. The engagement. The 2nd death. He wasn't looking after her the way I knew he knew how to. If he cared for her he would have aborted the baby. He would have never given the chance for the baby to be a possibility. He would have never allowed for her death to be a possibility and now? What now?  She just dies? We just move on, like we didn't go to war with the titans to save a dead woman?

"Hey!" The thing about Axl was, he was always in a good mood. There was no grey cloud following him around. He had nothing that put him down, except for me. So I had tried hard not to be that person. I tried hard to be his person. To like him, maybe love him – no, I don't love him, I love her, but he knows that and he accepts it. He had low standards. He accepted that I was in love with a woman. A mortal woman. A taken woman. A pregnant woman. A dead woman. He was too accepting. He deserved better. But he was all I had left.

"Hey, how was your day?" I kissed his cheek, as I had the day before and the day before that. His face had already made up its mind about my mood.

"What's going on?" He asked. He knew. Just like that. That's how much he liked me, even maybe, loved me. He just knew something was wrong, despite my effort to suppress my emotions.

"Evelyn is dying. Again. All thanks to Hayden. Again." I shook my head as my eyes filled with tears. What the fuck? Crying? Is this crying? Why is it so moist? Disgusting! I wiped the weird, wet liquid off of my cheeks, shaking my head embarrassed. But I was upset. How could I not be? My heart was breaking. And I knew my brothers could feel it, as we had when Hayden killed her the first time. Rage. Rage! Rage!

"I am so sorry babe." Axl's soft voice was calming. That's how I knew. The first time I knew. That if not Evelyn, he was the second best to settle for. He was the one. The only one that could potentially, maybe replace her. And he knew. He knew I loved her and that my feelings for him were second best to my feelings for her. But he had accepted it and accepted me and that was one of the reasons I felt love for him.

"We're going to try and fight against the titans. Hayden says his baby is the new King or Queen of the Gods, but whether it is or isn't, we're fighting for a dead woman." I felt a piece of my heart chip away. It felt worse to voice those things out loud. Axl's arms wrapped around me as he tried to console me.

"What can I do?" He planted a kiss on my cheek. His offer was sweet. He was sweet. Truth was there was nothing he could do. There was nothing anyone could do. It was what it was. If Rory said we had to go - we went. If Hayden said the next King or Queen was inside Evelyn's belly, then we had to do what we had to do to make sure it stayed safe and alive. Is it me? Or does it all sound insane? I can't just let her die. Why are we just accepting for her to die? What the hell is going on?

My head hurt from the conundrums. I knew there was no way to save her. I mean of course we were going to save her, but we couldn't save her from her baby ultimately killing her. What was fucked up, was how everyone were just okay with it. Oh she has to die? Okay sure. What the fuck?!

"Nothing honey, there is nothing to be done." I kissed his peach, soft lips. He was perfect and yet, Evelyn was better.

"I know you love her. But Hayden loves her too and I am sure he loves her more than he loves his unborn child. He wouldn't do this if it wasn't for her." Axl stroked my hair as he spoke. It made me angry, but I had to pretend that it hadn't. I didn't like him speaking about her. I didn't like him speaking about this, when he knew so little. I was angry. I was angry because he was right. It wasn't Hayden. It was all her. She had made all of these decision. Selfishly. She chose to have the baby. I was convinced Hayden would choose her over the baby any day. But it was so much easier to blame him.

"I need a drink." I insisted. I got to my feet and approached our bar with a tonne of whiskey. It was enough to intoxicate our entire army. Our tiny army. Our army was nothing compared to what Teo had ready for us. There is always more evil than there is good.

"I'm sorry Nick." Axl was ever so nice. I was grateful. I was going to need him if Evelyn died. I needed him to ground me. To stop me from going over to Hayden and Eve's apartment and killing him for what he was doing to Evelyn.

"I love you." It was time. Maybe not the perfect time. And maybe I wasn't really in love with him, but I needed him, I wanted him. He was all I was going to have left. I knew it was time. It had to be done. I tried to convince myself.

"What?" He stared at me blankly. Maybe it was the whisky kicking in, or maybe it was too soon, but he looked shocked and mortified by my admiration. Perhaps it was hard to believe, considering the whole conversation had been about my ex girlfriend who I was still in love with.

"I love you Axl." I repeated myself. I could tell by his expression that he knew I was just settling. Using him to ground me. But there was that small chance. Once Evelyn died I would move on and love him as I loved her. Hope. He had hope.

He was frozen in one spot, so I approached him and cupped his face gently.

"You don't have to say it back. I just want you to know. I love you." I smiled brushing my thumb across his soft cheek.

"I love you. Of course I love you. I never thought you'd be the one to say it first." He chuckled, before leaping into my arms and kissing me.