Fade in to a wide shot of Blue Base.
Church: "Uhh, I don't believe this."
Ash: "This doesn't make any sense."
Zeta: "This defies all logic."
Doc: "It's true, your friend Tucker is pregnant. See, my little gizmo lights up green to indicate pregnancy."
Church: "I thought it lights up green to indicate flesh wounds."
Doc: "Yeah also that."
Ash: "And infectious diseases."
Doc: Hyeah, it lights up green for just about everything. It takes a while to figure out the difference. Doc starts using his medical tool. Like this green, indicates a high level of anger stemming from suppressed feelings of inadequacy.
Church: "If that thing keeps talking bad about me, I'm gonna fucking smash it!"
Doc: "And this green means impotency. Oops, actually that green causes impotency! My bad Church."
Church: "Oh, that's okay, I wasn't using it anyway."
Doc: "See, these tools can be confusing sometimes. That's why doctors have to go to school for so long. Not that I'm actually a doctor, mind you."
Church: "And that's never been more apparent than with this diagnosis."
Tucker: "Uogh, what diagnosis?"
Doc: "Congratulations Tucker, you're pregnant.
O'Malley: "Huhahaha, yes, with bastard. Muhuhahahahahaha."
Tucker: It's not mine, I wasn't even in town that weekend.
Church: "Tucker don't listen to him, he's a lunatic, man, he's got no idea what he's talkin' about."
Doc: "Uh, you want me to go over the green light thing again?"
Church/Ash/Zeta: "No."
Caboose runs in holding "Andy's" skull.
Caboose: "Doctor! Help! My second best friend is dead! Fix him."
Ash: "Whoa whoa whoa, Caboose, what happened, who's dead?"
Caboose: "Andy! Andy's dead. Look!"
Church: "Okay, that's disgusting."
Caboose: "Doctor Doc, please help him."
Doc: "Uh, I don't know what I can really do to help him, my first aid procedures aren't very effective after decomposition."
Church: "Where did you get that?"
Caboose: "First Tucker dies and now Andy!"
Doc: "Tucker isn't dead, he's pregnant."
Tucker: "It's not mine, we weren't even going steady!"
Church: "Stop that."
Tucker: "Hey look man, I've been saying that for a long time, it's gonna take a little while to get used to this."
Church: "You're not pregnant."
Caboose: "I was just standing outside the base, and someone told me to turn around and when I did, Andy..."
Zeta: "Whoa wait, who told you to turn around?"
Caboose: "I don't know! But they were very helpful."
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue x Male OC / Season 4
FanfictionA bomb with a bad attitude, an alien with an epic score to settle, and after finding the sword at the wind facility, Blue team gets stuck on a quest to save the universe from an ancient prophecy of destruction. The situation doesn't look too good...