Fix My Feet When They're Stumblin'

Chapter 76

    Tana had barely cracked open her bedroom door and stepped out into the darkened hallway when a flurry of movement caught her eye.

    "Oh!" Startled, she jumped, a hand clutched  to her heart in surprise. She turned to find her pajama-clad children scrambling to their feet from places by the door, where they'd been...sitting?

    "Why - what are you doing?"

    The question came out a bit sharper than she'd intended, an edge fueled by the pounding of her heart. Gunnar shuffled nervously, glancing shyly up at his older brother, flushing as he pocketed his worn set of Uno cards.

    "Is Daddy okay?" Ammon whispered, running a hand through his disheveled hair. Tana stared, struck dumb. They can't have been waiting here all night? "We just...we heard - we saw...what happened. He broke stuff."

    "You heard - " She cut herself off, shaking her head with a sigh. Upstairs. They heard him all the way upstairs. "I'm sorry he woke you. How long have you all been here?" she asked instead, tilting her head down the hall in wordless invitation as she began to herd the boys away from the door. "You didn't stay up all this time, did you?"

    "Not - no, we just got up early, that's all," Gunnar said, turning awkwardly to cast a last, longing glance back at his father's bedroom."We couldn't - we wanted to know. Please, Mom? Is Dad better now? Is he - is he still mad?"

    She could only sigh, shaking her head as she followed her boys into the kitchen. This is not a conversation I expected to have this early in the morning.

    "He wasn't angry, baby, he only...it's his brain playing tricks on him, scaring him. Sort of like sleepwalking. He couldn't remember why he'd ended up in there or - or why he was throwing things, he just...he woke up, and there he was, and...things were broken. He doesn't remember even doing anything, so he was very confused. Can you imagine how that would feel?"

    "That's scary," Henry whispered as he slid into the breakfast nook and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, yawning. "But he's okay now?"

    Tana didn't answer, instead turning away to gather glasses and pour juice, contemplating the wisest way to answer...to break the news gently. "He's okay," she said slowly, watching the orange juice fill each glass. "But we had a good, long talk last night, and...I want to ask you guys something. I need some help deciding what to do, okay?"

    Three anxious pairs of eyes were positively glued to her, eager and expectant. Tana took a deep breath, putting the juice away and carrying the glasses to the table. "Your Dad is having a tough time here, and he wants to try going to live for a while at the rehabilitation center that the hospital recommended. Do you remember?"

    "He doesn't wanna be with us?" Henry's voice was so sad and small that Tana nearly upended his glass as she placed it on the oak table, her hand shaking. She swept her fingers through his hair and dropped down beside him, choosing her words carefully.

    "It's not that, honey, it's just...his brain is hurting right now, and...Henry, he has trouble just knowing where things are in the house. He can't remember - like, he couldn't remember how to find our room yesterday. Or the bathroom. He's been lost the whole week, he can't navigate. It's like somewhere he's never been before, a stranger's house...even though he knows it's home. It's supposed to be home, but it's not. How do you think you would feel if you came home and suddenly - well, it's not home?"

    "Really, really scared," Gunnar said quietly, answering for his younger brother. His lips were downturned, twisted into a little bow of worry while he drew designs on the tabletop with pepper that she suspected he'd deliberately poured out while her back had been turned. "And all the other stuff, the headaches and light and noise and...poor Dad."