Fix My Feet When They're Stumblin'

Chapter 79

   
    Tana sat on the floor beside a pile of prospective clothing to pack, carefully rolling item after item of clothing and stashing them neatly in her husband's suitcase. A soft noise in the bathroom - was that my name? - caught her attention and she rose, tentatively making her way to the door and peering through the gap.

    "Baby - Brandon, did you call me?"

    Half-shaved, he stood at the sink in the warm, humid room staring down at the razor lying in his palm.

    "Brandon?" she tried again, "Is everything okay? Did you say something?"

    His eyes flicked upwards, catching a fleeting glimpse of her in the mirror before returning to their reverie. His chest rose and fell in a deep sigh, like a diver returning to the water's surface. Again, he glanced at her face in the mirror, then back down at the razor. Tana fidgeted uncomfortably, fighting the urge to ask her question a third time.

    Slowly, he licked his dry lips and once more looked up at her briefly, taking a deep breath, his shoulders rising to a determined square.

    "I...I can't. C-Could you...help...p-please?"

    Tana felt a grin split her face, so wide that her cheeks ached. "Really?"

    He looked startled by her enthusiasm and momentarily withdrew from her, his eyes fixed on his bare feet. She watched, her stomach in knots, as his fingers closed around the plastic handle of the razor, white-knuckled. Shit.

    "I'm sorry - I just mean, if you prefer Ron, I - "

    Brandon shook his head  and turned suddenly, interrupting the apology, and proffering the razor. "Please," he repeated, a plaintive quiver now evident in his voice. "I-I want you."

    Tana carefully reached out to take it, her breath shuddering loose in relief. "Hey," she said softly, trying unsuccessfully to meet his eyes, "Thank you."

    He only shook his head, a tiny motion, over-bright eyes fixed on the space between them. With a small sigh, Brandon's hand fluttered - get on with it. She softly spread the shaving cream that he had clumsily attempted to apply himself, sweeping her fingertips over the left side of his face. To Tana's surprise, she found as she tried to swallow, coasting over the stubbled curve of her husband's chin, that a hard and aching lump had taken up residence in her throat. Wow, I miss just...touching him. It's always a gamble now.

    "I miss you," Tana breathed, a watery smile touching her own lips. Hurt lanced through Brandon's expression like a hot knife, and he turned away from her so quickly that he lost his balance, a graceless hand fumbling in the air desperately for support, for something to stop his fall. He tripped and toppled backwards, crying out in pain as his injured shoulder blade was crushed by the wall.

     He turned his head toward the source of the pain with a wordless squeal, tucking his chin into his shoulder for many long moments while he gathered his composure.

    She reached for him, but Brandon stiffly shoved Tana's hand away, his chest heaving. "I'm so sorry," Tana managed eventually, her voice so tiny in her own ears she barely recognized it. "Your arm, love..."

    "Fine," Brandon said softly, taking a deep, shaky breath. "F-Fine." He straightened slowly and came to the sink, carefully plucking the abandoned razor from the sink basin where Tana had accidentally flung it as he'd fallen. He handed it to her, his shy gaze fixed on the razor.

    "I miss m-me, too." The admission came in a gruff whisper. "S-Sor-"

    "Don't!"

    The word came out unexpectedly sharp and angry, and Tana's stomach curdled when Brandon's entire body jerked violently in surprise, stumbling backwards until his back pressed against the wall. Whimpering, he attempted to ease the pressure on his bad shoulder but seemed fearful to come even an inch nearer to her this time, though it would spare his healing shoulder blade. Wounded eyes stared at her, every muscle on alert.