Fix My Feet When They're Stumblin'

Chapter 17

     At first, it felt like he was floating peacefully, like a fallen leaf's lazy journey through a river. He was unaware of the voices of his children at his side, telling him how much they would miss him, but that Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Olivia were taking them back to the hotel to sleep. He was unaware of the smaller hand that held his own for nearly an hour, oblivious as she slept in a chair beside him, slumped across the bed with her tousled hair spread across the grey woven blanket, his hand clutched fiercely in her own.

     Countless visits by nurses and doctors went unnoticed, administering pain medicine, fluids and artificial nutrition, carefully turning his body, checking his vitals, cleaning his wounds and adjusting his bed, speaking quietly to him as they worked. Hours later, he was unaware of his wife and friends sitting just a few hundred feet away in the dismal, anxious waiting room as the first pinkish rays of dawn were cast across the sterile floor of his hospital room.

     As the sun meandered through the cloudless sky beyond his window, he became aware of an insistent, irritating beeping, and then of soft voices that periodically surrounded him, then left him alone, with only the steady beep...beep...beep remaining as his constant companion; and then pain as well. His pulse beat against his skull like a drum, keeping time with the beeping sound. His back was on fire, and a sharp, stabbing pressure grew and subsided in his chest with every breath. Quick, efficient footsteps pattered around his room, some anonymous woman prattling cheerfully about...morphine? Startled at his sudden ability to understand the speech around him, he tried to open his eyes, succeeding in only a weak flutter, but suddenly the woman's monologue stopped with a surprised "Oh!"

     He felt fingers gently work their way into his own hand. "Honey, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand."

     Oh...I can...I can do that...

     "Oh, lovely! Hello there, honey! My name is Mandy, I'm one of your nurses. Are you in pain? The monitors have been getting a little excited, I was just coming to check on you. Squeeze my hand if something hurts."

     More confident now, he squeezed her hand firmly. "Alright, do you want me to give you medicine to make the pain go away? Squeeze my hand if you want me to give you medicine."

     Another squeeze. "You got it, honey, it'll be just a second here." The hand left his own and he heard her bustling around his room, small clinks and pops the only other sound for a minute. There was a rustling sound, and then the color behind his leaden eyelids changed from scarlet to dark grey. Mandy's footsteps came back beside him and her fingers resumed their place inside his own.

     "Alright, honey, it should hurt less soon. Do you want to try opening your eyes? I closed the curtains so it's a bit darker for you."

     He did want to try...but his eyelids felt so heavy. A tiny sliver of light, and then oppressive, impenetrable darkness again. "That's it, honey, you've got it. Keep trying." Another glimpse of light, a dull white wall, and then darkness.

     With a massive effort, he forced his eyes open and lay on his side, blinking blearily at the small, red-haired woman in green scrubs in front of him. She smiled at him, squeezing his hand. "Hello, there, honey! It's good to see you awake so soon! Can you tell me your name?"

     He tried to speak, but nothing came out. He frowned, coughing. "Um...B-Brandon. Brandon Flowers."

     The nurse beamed at him. "Well, it's lovely to meet you properly, Mr. Flowers! I'm Mandy, I'm your nurse today. You're at Saint Luke's hospital, Mr. Flowers - do you remember why you're here?"

     "Um...I r-remember...I was hiking with my f-friend - Ronnie! Is Ronnie here too? Is he okay? Got - he g-got hurt too, is he okay?"

     Smiling, the nurse patted his arm. "Your friend is just fine, don't worry about him. Mr. Flowers, what's the last thing you remember?"

     "I...uh - we w-were hiking and R-Ronnie f-fell and hurt his ankle, and I went to find his - his - his - his...I don't know, the th-thing to c-call for help, because m-mine wouldn't w-work...and...and...I d-don't know, I can't remember, I j-just was on the mountain and n-now I'm here!" The beeping had grown faster and more insistent and Brandon's hands were twisting his blanket mercilessly in his agitation, tears in his eyes as he pleaded, "Don't - I d-don't remember, why c-can't I remember? Why - why can't I remember?"

     "That's alright, Mr. Flowers, don't worry about that right now. That's alright," the nurse soothed, pushing something from a syringe into the IV connected to his arm. Almost immediately, a sense of utter calmness descended upon Brandon, crowding out...what was I just thinking about? Hmmm...oh well...this is nice...

     The nurse left, unnoticed by Brandon, who lay gazing at the wall, blissfully calm for several minutes, and then began fidgeting with the blanket again, eyes darting anxiously around the portion of the hospital room visible from his position. A red-haired woman in scrubs entered, greeting him with a cheerful "Hello, honey! It's good to see you awake!"

     Bemused, Brandon furrowed his brow. "Sorry, d-do...do I know you?"

     "Oh, silly me! My name is Mandy, I'm going to be your nurse today. Do you know your name?"

     "Of course. Brandon F-Flowers."

     "Well, it's wonderful to meet you, Mr. Flowers! You're at Saint Luke's hospital, do you remember how you got here?"

     "Yeah, I w-was hiking with my f-f-friend, R-Ronnie - is he okay? He was hurt, too! Is he okay? Where's R-Ronnie?"

     The nurse smiled. "Oh, he's just fine, Mr. Flowers, don't worry about him! What's the last thing you remember?"

     "I...we w-were hiking, and Ronnie f-fell and got hurt...I went to find his ph-phone so I could c-call for help and...I...I d-don't remember!" His breath caught in his throat, his pulse thundering inside his skull like a stampede. "I'm s-sorry, I - I d-don't remember! Why c-can't I remember? I can't remember!"

     "It's alright, Mr. Flowers, you've had a head injury. It's alright. Things will be fuzzy for a while but it's perfectly normal and everything will be alright," the red-headed nurse told him, her voice low and soothing as she uncapped a syringe and pushed its contents into his IV. Slowly, his breathing slowed and he visibly relaxed against the stiff, starchy pillow beneath his head, closing his eyes against the suddenly achingly bright lights.

     "It's alright, Mr. Flowers," Mandy repeated, watching as he succumbed to sleep once more.