Fix My Feet When They're Stumblin'

Chapter 23

    The hospital room door squeaked open and Brandon looked up to see a familiar, bubbly red-headed nurse poke her head in. "Hi, Mandy," he greeted her, offering an unsteady smile.

    "Hi there, Mr. Flowers! I have a few small visitors who would like to see you, if you're up for it?"

    His heart suddenly felt like it might explode out of his chest in anticipation. "Oh! Not my - my - my kids?"

    Mandy just smiled and stepped into the room, followed by - "Henry! Gunnar! Ammon!" All three looked rather tired and nervous, peering around the room uncertainly as they approached his bedside.

    "Dad, can we - is it okay if we hug you?" Ammon asked, his voice choking off at the end of the question as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Brandon smiled and held out his arm, and Henry, first in line, nearly collapsed into the hug, sobbing. "Hey, hey, Henry, b-baby...it's...it's okay," Brandon whispered, stroking his youngest son's hair gently as Henry clutched the front of his hospital gown, now weeping hysterically into his chest.

    His heart broke when he glanced up at Gunnar and Ammon and found them crying, too. "Come on, kids," he offered, tilting his head slightly in invitation. He noticed that they both looked to Mandy for permission before they obeyed, finally settling gingerly onto the edges of his bed and leaning in to join the hug. "It's okay...see - I'm o-okay, see? Ohhh...I l-love you guys so much. I'm okay."

    "We were so scared, dad," Henry sniffed, and guilt twisted in Brandon's heart like an agonized animal's death throes, appalled at what he had put his family through. He began to formulate an apology, his brain working at a snail's pace, but suddenly Henry's eyes widened and he looked around wildly.

    "Where - "

    Mandy cleared her throat from her position behind them near the bathroom door, and held out...a folder?

    "Oh, thanks Mandy, guess I dropped it," Henry said sheepishly, taking it with a watery smile. "Dad, we made you...well... just look," he said, placing the folder on Brandon's lap. Brandon reluctantly removed his hand from his son's hair with a final soft sweep through it and a gentle kiss on the top of his head, then opened the folder. "Oh..." He whispered, touching the little family on the cover delicately.

    Henry giggled and poked at one of the surgical thread bowties. "It's a book, daddy, you have to open it!"

    With trembling fingers, Brandon fumbled with the pages and opened the book, spending nearly a full minute looking at the first picture - himself asleep on the couch and Gunnar cuddled into his chest, napping with him, signed in Gunnar's untidy, giant scrawl across the bottom of the page. Hot tears suddenly obscured his vision and he hastily pushed the book away, swiping at his eyes.

    "Don't you like it, daddy?"

    Henry's quiet, anxious voice startled Brandon and he laughed shakily and wrapped his arm tightly around his son's shoulders, bringing him closer in a sideways hug.

    "Like it? I love it. It's...this is the - the s-s-sweetest thing I've ever...thank you so much, Gunnar, Ammon, Henry, really, you...thank you, thank you. I love it - I do! I just don't want to g-get it wet. Thank you, th-thank you. Deserve - no - I don't - I don't deserve such amazing kids."

    Gunnar spoke up now, and Brandon noticed that he was cracking his knuckles, a recently acquired nervous habit - that he probably picked up from me, he thought guiltily, watching the fidgeting.

    "Dad, remember when mom was sick and you cancelled your tour and you cooked for us every day and took us to school and helped mom and everything? You're like Superman!"

    Brandon's heart sank through the white linoleum floor, a deep, yawning pit in his stomach. He did remember - and now I can't even get out of bed; what a pathetic excuse for a dad. But he forced the thought down and painted a smile on his face. He reached out to squeeze Gunnar's hand, appreciating the gesture nonetheless. "Thanks, Gun. That's sweet."

    "Dad, whenever they let you out of here, you should know mom's never gonna let you go hiking again," Ammon teased, grinning mischievously at him. "You're gonna have to find a new hobby. Maybe you can get mom to teach you how to knit, that's nice and safe!"

    Brandon laughed, a genuine, mousy giggle which triggered all three of his kids to laugh with him - or perhaps at him. "I think I might...poke my - my eye out instead," he said, raising his hand to rub the back of his head, where a pounding headache grew. "How's... how's your mom?"

    The kids all shrugged. "Better when you get out of here, I bet," Ammon mused, picking at a stray thread in Brandon's blanket. "She's just...nervous. But a lot happier now that you're awake and everything!" He perked up suddenly, jerking his head up to look at Brandon with a little gasp. "Oh, don't tell mom I said this, but I overheard Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Olivia offer to move in with us for a little while when we get back home! Wouldn't that be so fun, dad? It would be so cool to get to live with Uncle Ronnie!"

    His brothers both looked surprised and thrilled at this revelation - apparently this was news to all of them. "I'm...I...I'm sure..." Brandon started, trailing off and cradling his head in his hand, moaning as the ache intensified and stabbed into his skull. The lights, already thoughtfully dimmed for him by the nurses, suddenly seemed painfully bright and harsh.

    "Alright, kids, time to go. Your dad needs rest. I'll bring them by again tomorrow, Mr. Flowers, if you're feeling up to it," Mandy promised as she stepped from her place against the wall and ushered the children off the bed. She herded them efficiently in front of her, but Gunnar side-stepped the nurse as they reached the door and turned back.

    "Wait, just - dad, I'm really, really glad you're not dead," Gunnar said simply, with such matter-of-fact bluntness that Brandon couldn't help but smile despite the relentless, invisible jackhammer pounding holes into his shattered skull.

     "Me too, Gunny. Me too."