Love Me Again

Chapter 10 - Big Time Appearances

I kept seeing the same person appear before they disappeared within a few minutes. 

Every time it happened I wouldn't act normally for the next few hours and I think Logan was starting to catch on, since I ignored him sometimes when it happened.

I was sitting on my bed, watching the news with us outside the restaurant, when there was a knock on my door before it opened. I looked up to see Logan peeking his head in, so I paused the tv.

"Can I come in?" He asked, and I nodded, sitting up against the head board.

He came in and closed the door behind him before taking a seat at the end of the bed.

"What's been going on with you lately?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I lied, looking away from him. It hurt to lie, but I couldn't help it.

"Please don't lie to me. I hate when you lie to me. You always look away when you lie." He said, and I sighed, turning to face him.

"I've been seeing things." I admitted and he looked up at me.

"What do you mean by 'things'?" He asked, and I shrugged my shoulders, looking away. "Hope, please talk to me."

"I've been seeing Jack." I admitted, looking back at Logan again.

"Who's Jack?" He asked, and I realized I didn't tell him.

"The abusive guy I was with." I said, before he gently grabbed my hand, and moved so he was sitting in front of me.

"He's not here, you don't have to worry about him." I shook my head, knowing it wasn't that easy.

"It's not that simple. The doctors said I could suffer from PTSD after those events, and I think I am. I know he's not here, but seeing him freaks me out." I explained and he nodded.

"Why do you ignore me then? And act differently around the other guys?"

"I ignore you, because if he ever found me I don't want him going after you. I've been on the news a lot lately, and now it's going around everywhere about 'Hope Allaband dating the famous Logan Henderson from Big Time Rush.' I act differently around the guys because they don't know about him like you do." I explained once again.

"They don't know?" He asked and I shook my head. "Not even James?" He asked and I knew he was asking because James was my closest friend out of the other three. I shook my head again though, and he sat there for a moment, silent. "Why did you tell me and not them?"

"Because I wanted to know if you truly cared or not, and I could tell you do by the way you reacted when I told you." I stated, and he sat there, silent for a few more moments.

"Thank you for trusting me. I know it must've been hard to get that out." He said, and I nodded.

"The thing is. . . I never used to see him appear until I told you. So I think once I admitted it to you, I finally admitted it to myself and that's when the visions started happening. Then they started happening more and more when my face was all over tv with you guys." I admitted and looked down.

"It's going to be fine though. He's never going to find you, ever again. And if he ever does, which he won't, I'll be there for you. I know the guys will too, even if they don't know what's going on." He reassured me and I slowly nodded.

"Thank you, Logan." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. He returned the hug, before we both pulled away.

"Come to me whenever you see him and I'll help you. I don't want you to go through it alone though." He added, and I nodded.

"I will."

~~~

I didn't see the figure of him again until the next day. Logan and I were sitting on the couch, about to watch a movie, so I got up to make some popcorn. I was leaning against the island, listening for the popping when I saw him outside. He was standing on top of the hill and my eyes widened.

"He's not there. He's not there. He's not there." I kept whispering to myself, opening the microwave. I grabbed the bag of popcorn, and looked up expecting him to be gone, but he was standing right outside the window, looking at me with an evil glare.

I screamed, dropping the bag of popcorn in the process, before I heard footsteps.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked, running into the kitchen. He picked up the bag of popcorn and placed it on the corner, before standing in front of me.

"He didn't go away. I told myself he wasn't there but he didn't go away." I said, before I kept trying to tell myself he wasn't there again.

Logan looked everywhere, but he must not have seen him. "Hope, look at me. He's not here, he's not here. It's just you and me." He repeated, until I lifted my head up and looked at the window again. He looked where I did, but he was actually gone now.

"He's gone." I whispered, before wrapping my arms around Logan's neck and placing my head on his shoulder. He rubbed my back with one hand and ran his fingers through my hair with the other one.

"You're going to be fine, you have to trust me." Logan whispered and I nodded.

"Normally when I tell myself he's not there he disappears, but this time he didn't, until you told me he wasn't there." I whispered back, not moving until he pulled away a little bit to look at me.

"Have you been to the doctors since you've been seeing him?" He asked and I shook my head. "I think you should go." He said and I shook my head again.

"No, I can't go."

"Why not?" He asked, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"They'll say I'm crazy."

"No they won't, because you're not crazy. They'll just help you and they'll give you some coping mechanisms. Maybe even medicine." He said and I thought about it for a moment.

"Will you go with me?" I asked.

"Only if you want me to." He replied and I nodded.

"I want you to go with me." I said, and he nodded.

"Then I'll go with you. For now you wanna go watch that movie?" He asked and I nodded.

He grabbed the popcorn off the counter, before grabbing my hand and we made our way for the living room to watch the movie.