Love Me Again

Chapter 9 - Big Time Hangover

"Stop yelling." I covered my head with my pillow when I heard talking in my room.

"We're not." I heard James' voice, and I slightly opened my eyes before closing them.

"Too bright." I said, slowly sitting up before I felt nausea washing over me. I jumped up and ran towards the bathroom, realizing I was in Logan's room. I got sick, before wiping my mouth with toilet paper and leaning against the counter as it flushed.

"I told you that you drank too much last night." Logan said, handing me a bottle of water and some Tylenol.

"You didn't drink?" I asked, before I took the medication and drank some water.

"Nope, and it's a good thing too." He said, a grin on his face.

"What did I do?" I whispered, looking up at him.

"Here's a list of the non embarrassing things." He said, handing me a paper.

"There's nothing here." I said, looking up at him.

"Exactly." He said and my eyes widened.

"Fuck." I said, standing up to face him. "Just rip it off like a bandaid. What did I do?" I asked, following him into his bedroom. "And why did I wake up in your bedroom?"

"You woke up in my bedroom because you didn't want to sleep by yourself last night. Plus I figured it was probably best you had someone with you after how much you drank." He said, and I sighed.

"What did I do though?" I asked, and he put his hand out to his bed.

"You might want to sit down for this." He said, and I took a seat, looking up at him as he started to explain the whole night.

I sat there for a few minutes after he was done, while he was sitting next to me on the bed. "Oh. My. God." My eyes widened, and I glanced at him before covering my face with my hands. "I'm so, so sorry." I laughed as I was trying not to cry.

"Don't cry." He said, and before I could question him he spoke up again. "I know the difference between your normal laugh and you're trying not to cry laugh. I'm not mad about it, it was honestly pretty entertaining to watch." He said, but I kept my head in my hands. "Hope?" He questioned, but I refused to look at him. "Are you okay?" He asked, but I shook my head as a response. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I embarrassed the fuck out of myself last night. Why the hell was I like that?" I kept my face in my hands as my voice wavered and I tried not to cry.

"It's okay, we all do embarrassing things when we're drunk. At least I was there and you didn't do anything stupid." He said and I shook my head.

"But you were there and I was attached to you. That had of been super awkward. I mean, why was I even like that? Fuccckkk." I sighed, laying back on the bed, with my hands still covering my face.

He gently grabbed my hands, pulling them off my face. "Come on, it wasn't that bad." He said, and I scoffed.

"'Not that bad'? Did you miss the part where I was all over you?" I snapped, before sighing. "I'm sorry, I usually don't drink that much. Hell, I normally don't drink at all."

"It's fine. The only thing that really caught me off guard was when you said I would've been a great dad." He said, and my eyes widened as I looked at him.

"I said that?" I whispered and he nodded.

"What did you mean by that?" He asked, and I rolled over so my face was in the blankets.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." I said, before he rolled me back onto my back.

"You're not stupid. I just want to know what you meant." He said, and I sighed before sitting up, turning to him.

"When we were together I was pregnant." I said but he just sat there looking at me. "That was one of the reasons I was going to see you when I saw you on the couch with Ava. I was so stressed out from that, and us breaking up, to moving back to Illinois, that I had a miscarriage." I explained, while he sat there, looking at the ground. "I didn't want to tell you because we had just ended things, then I couldn't tell you about the miscarriage because I got so depressed that I didn't even want to leave my room. I didn't want you to have to go through that too, no matter how mad I was at you." I finished but he wouldn't look up at me. "There's times I wonder what life would be like if I had the baby, but there's also times I remind myself that everything happens for a reason." He still wouldn't look at me, so I grabbed his face and tilted it up so he would look at me. His eyes slowly met mine, and they were red and bloodshot. "Are you crying?" I asked, feeling my heart break a little for him.

"We were going to have a kid?" He said it as more of a question as his voice cracked. I nodded my head, before he wrapped his arms around me. "Is that why you were asking me about the family thing?" He asked.

"Partially." I said, and it wasn't a complete lie. I was wondering what he thought about it all, but at the same time I just wanted to know if he had his eyes on anyone at the moment.

"If you would've had that baby, I would've done anything in my power to help, and take care of it." He whispered, still hugging me.

"I know." I said back, and he slowly pulled away.

"I'm sorry you went through that alone. Then you had a shitty relationship with a douchebag and I'm sorry." He said and I shook my head.

"Like I said earlier, everything happens for a reason." I said, mustering up a small smile for him.

"Do the guys know?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I didn't ever want to tell them until you knew first." I said and he nodded. "But now, I have to go get ready for the day and find a pair of sunglasses because this light is way too bright." I said, standing up. He grabbed a pair of sunglasses off of his nightstand and handed them to me. "Thanks." I smiled, before heading out of his room and towards my own.

I was sitting at the kitchen island watching Logan cook. I looked in the dining room and gasped as a a pair of blue eyes met my own.

"He's not there. He's not there. He's not there." I whispered, closing my eyes.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked, and when I opened my eyes he was looking at me. I looked in the dining room and the figure was gone.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, looking back at Logan and faking a smile.

"That's a fake smile." He said, putting a spoon down and sitting down in the stool next to me. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm not feeling the best after last night. I think I'm gonna go lay down for a little bit." I said, standing up.

"You're not gonna eat?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks anyway." I said, heading upstairs.