Heal Me

|sounds like a bad joke|

Whispers and murmurs spread throughout the crowd. Carson was still in his wolf form, his gaze locked on me. My parents were talking between themselves while I'm stood here wondering what the fuck is going on?

I should have begun the shifting process or at least received my wolf. But my mind was empty, I have no wolf... I can't even feel him. "Dad..." I whispered. He glanced at me and I shivered. "What's happening?" I whined. The look on his face nearly brought me to my knees... He was repulsed by me. Now I know how Carson feels. 

I backed away, tears threatening to spill. I was scared, confused and no one was helping. Carson's wolf rose and slowly edged towards me. I gazed at him, he was truly remarkable... I knew he would be. But, I was feeling slightly envious. He has his wolf, why don't I have mine?

I turned on my heel and rushed off the stage. I needed to be anywhere but here, I hated everyone's eyes on me. "Caleb, wait!" Carson shouted through our link. I stopped and glanced back at him. Dad had stopped him, commanded him using his Alpha tone. Carson couldn't come after me... I watched as Dad kneeled in front of Carson and petted his wolf. It's a sign of affection and love for their pup. My heart hurt at the sight, all I ever wanted them to do, was accept Carson and love him as they should. 

Carson's wolf never looked my way. All 3 of them stood centre stage while the crowd went wild. My breath hitched in my throat and I choked back a sob. I darted between some houses, heading straight for the forest. I sprinted through the forest as tears clouded my vision. My head was jumbled, nothing made sense. I didn't understand why I wasn't blessed with a wolf. The one thing every werewolf is gifted is a wolf and a mate. 

Would I be blessed with a mate having no wolf? I'm never going to experience the joys of being a wolf. I said tonight was going to change everything, I just didn't expect it to change it for the worse. The only good thing about this is they may have just accepted Carson as their son. My chest was tight and every breath I was taking felt like I was burning inside. My legs were stinging from pushing myself further and further. 

I ran until my legs gave out under me. I laid in the mud, staring up at the sky. The crescent moon was bright, with millions of stars littered around it... I stared at the moon, hoping maybe if I wished enough I could be granted my wolf. I let the tears fall freely as I closed my eyes. I felt humiliated, standing in front of the full pack and them witnessing everything. They will never follow an Alpha who can't even shift. A werewolf without a wolf... Sounds like a bad joke. That's what I am, one big fucking joke.

I heard a branch snap to my right, I kept my eyes closed. If this is where I die, I'll happily surrender. "Caleb?" Oliver spoke causing me to sit up abruptly. I wiped my face before I turned to him. "They sent you, didn't they?" I asked as I stood up. He nodded, pity is written all over his face. "I need to take you back home." He stated. I nodded and went towards him. "Where are they?" I questioned as we made the walk back. 

He shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked some stones in his path. "They're bonding with Carson." He replied, gaping at the floor. I sighed as we continued the walk in silence. I'm happy they're finally giving Carson the attention he needs from them, he deserves it. I just want to lock myself away in my room and not speak to anyone. 

We arrived back at the centre of the pack lands. The stage had been cleared away, there was still some of the pack around. Some were in human form while others were in wolf form. I could see my dad's wolf in the middle of the crowd, he was a large dusky grey wolf with piercing brown eyes. My mum was in her wolf form, she was a smaller dusty brown wolf with her pale green eyes. In the middle of them, stood Carson's wolf. It was unusual for a wolf to not match either of their parents but they didn't seem to care. Even our eyes don't match our parents, Carson's eyes are a sooty grey whereas my eyes are more silver.

Dad's wolf turned his head when I stopped in the middle of the crowd. I may not have a wolf but I still smell like one or at least I smell of the pack. He came towards me, I stood straighter and didn't back down. Oliver stepped next to me holding a pair of sweatpants. My dad shifted then pulled the sweatpants on that Oliver had. He looked at me and placed his hands on my shoulders. 

"Wolf or not, you're still my son." He replied, smiling at me. I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding in. "Go home, we'll meet you there soon." He added before strolling back over to Carson and our mum. Carson's wolf didn't look at me at all and that hurt. I made my way back to our house, avoiding all the stares and whispers from the pack. 

I opened the door and rushed inside, I slammed the door and leaned against it. I sighed and closed my eyes. I had an awful sinking feeling, I tried taking deep breaths but nothing eased it. I tried the link between Carson again and I couldn't get through. He was blocking me out and I wouldn't wrap my head around why. I couldn't feel anything from him, being his twin I'm entwined with his emotions and feelings... But there's nothing. I can't feel anything. 

I went into the kitchen and took a bottle of water out of the fridge. I opened it and gulped it down. I heard the door open, I sighed and made my way to the hallway. "I'm so proud of you, son. Your wolf is incredible, you'll make an amazing Alpha." My dad praised Carson. The bottle of water slipped from my hands, I sucked in a breath and gaped at them.