Always and Fornever

Pick Up Your Feelings

"Hey it's Kelly. I can't come to the phone right now. Shoot me a text weirdo." Kelly's answering machine ended my call need.

*beep* "Kelly I-I'm sorry. Please come home."

Slowly moving the phone from my ear I hit the bright crimson button. I clutched it in my hand as I paced back and forth. The cold glass pressed against my lip.

Should I follow her? Give her space? God I fucked up. That was the truth and the only way I would get Kelly back was by way of god.

The shadows from ceiling fan moved across the walls. The sounds of the light morning traffic seemed to be getting heavier. The sudden sound of the leaky bathroom sink began to dig at me with every drop.

The nausea from earlier had began to set in. The thick of it was almost like a pungent oder causing me to head for the bathroom. I moved quickly almost causing me to miss the bowl. My grip firmly held the glass shower door and counter. Wiping my mouth I stumbled back into the wall.

What are you doing? I caught myself in the mirror. My stringy curls had fell from its original placement. I was red eyed, sick, and restless from the hours upon hours of me staying up.

Dragging myself to the kitchen I pulled out a glass and a bottle of wine. I filled it half way before throwing it back. It tasted like nothing.

Looking into the bottle it was one Kelly and I had brought back from a vacation we had taken in NY. Kelly and I had gone to dinner and I loved it so much I took a or two bottle home. It tasted like strawberries with hints of citrus. So warm and sweet, to match the memory.

Earlier Last Year. . .

"I can't believe you really got that to go." Kelly giggled at me. "You ain't gone be laughing when we get home. Don't ask for a glass neither." I observed the bottle with a smile. "Believe me I won't." She took off her earrings. I sat the bottle in my bag as I stuffed it into my backpack.

"Babe take my picture." Kelly stood up against the huge glass display. She posed in front of the manakins, frozen in time as each individual garment made specially for them. Her brown skin had been complemented the ivory snow. Falling melting against hard warm skin. All gathered in one shot.

"Here. Now come on we don't want to be late." She handed me back phone. Grabbing her hand I pressed forward down the block. "For this to be a date we shole is doing a lot of walking." Kelly strolled behind me wrapped up in her coat. I turned to her with a grin. "What?" Her beautiful smile glowed at me. "It's apart of the experience." I kissed her hand.

I kept walking not really paying attention to anything in particular. The hustle and bustle of the city as the day turned into a slew of colors arose the sky. We suddenly stopped in a what looked like to be an event building. I took a small folded crinkle piece of paper from my pocket. It's had been stuck together from the sweat on my palms from holding it so tightly. Kelly watched me curiously.

"875 Saint Anne Parkway"

I looked up and down at the address on the build and that now damp scarp of paper. "Yeah Saint Anne's can we go now." Kelly snoodly said crossing her arms. I gave her an intolerant glare. "Babe my feel huuuurt." She mumbled a bit. I rolled my eyes going into the building. The rotation of the glass took us to a modern lobby. Kelly walked slowly behind as I touched the counter. The ambiance was cool too. Couches and coffee tables, neon signs, a flower grass wall like every black business.

"Hello welcome to Utopia, how may I help you?" A young man greeted me nicely. "I'm here for a reservation. "Giselle Knowles"." We spokes simultaneously. I was kind of taken a back. He grinned as he types away on the IPad screen. "You go to my school. Can't forget the record breaking 10.11 you ran. Took us to nationals as a sophomore is cold." He laughed a bit. I wasn't the type to boast about my accomplishments. Just like how hurts are given, they can be taken away, amen.

"I don't like to brag." I playfully reflected. "You was in the paper and some more shit. She would be proud." He looked over at Kelly who stood admiring the bisque painting on. The wall. Giggling at the thought of Kelly's inner child being so intrigued. "Yeah she lets me know it." I defended still keeping up a smile. Programming a key card he nodded a little. He took out a sharpie writing on the key card sleeve. "Well hopefully I'll be seeing you around?" He winked at me holding out the key card. I took it slowly a little confused. Wait was he flirting with me? "You have the space from now till 8:15pm. Enjoy your RTP experience."

Kelly interrupted me from my thoughts gripping me by my waist pulling me closer. "Ooooo RTP. Come on babes." She kissed my cheek as she let go slightly guiding me to the elevator. I shook the previous interaction from my head stepping in hitting the penthouse button. Crazy.

"Where are we going?" Kelly stood at the elevator against the wall. "Top floor." I leaned my head to her chest slightly. "Top floor, Well duh dorky." She mocked. I laughed ignoring her. The comedic silence only lasted a couple seconds before she was back to prying. "Whats a RTP?" She picked some more. "Kelly everything is going to be perfectly fine babes. You're going to love it." I said a little excited.
I've never done anything like this for Kelly before. I honestly didn't know how it would turn out. But I hope it was worth it. I mean she's always worth it.

*ding* "please scan keycard for access."

"Cover your eyes." I grabbed Kelly's hands putting them over her eyes. "She started to grin doing a little jump. I'm so excited. I don't know what to expect." My baby was so giddy.

The voice memo prompted me again. Doing as instructed the red flashing light turned green. I assuming that means it worked. The elevator doors open to a small concrete walked way with glass walls. They reclined a roof top grass area that had been decorated for what looked like a picnic out of a fairy tale. I moved out of the way opening the glass door to coach Kelly outside.

"Why does it feel like outside? I swear if you're going to push me off a balcony. There are better ways to kill me." She said trying to keep her footing on the grass. "Girl take your hands down." I laughed at her. A damn fool.

Her face lit up with joy. The candles and with the assortment of fruit and ginger foods sat on perfectly placed decorations. The sun slowly set in the background. Kelly clutched her hands together against her chest. "Giselle, babes." Her voice broke a bit. Grabbing her hand I led her towards the pallet. "Come."

We both too our seats across from one another. She looked even more breath taking against the sunset. Perhaps one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

I wanted to take Kelly in this date, because we haven't been able to spend as much time together as I wanted. Between school work and practices we barely had seen each other last school year. I wanted to start this summer off different.

"This is so cute, it's so nice, looks great babes. Looks -expensive." She stoped in her tracks. "Yeah, it's fine though." I joked. "How much." She crossed her arms at me. Kelly hated when I spent "unnecessary money." "I just used a little of my field trip money." Brushing off the comment. "Giselle! Your trip in three weeks?" She shouted. Grabbing her had I tried to calm her playfully. "Babes it's okay." "No it's not you where picking up extra shifts for that trip." I could tell she felt bad a little. "Kelly I had the money for that before school ended. It was all for this." I looked around.

She frowned her eyebrows at me a little but not in the way you would think. Sort of like thankful. "Kelly it's not-" I was cut off by her soft lips against mine. Kelly held my face closely to hers. My body instantly relaxed.

New York City, fifteen floors up on a rooftop picnic watching the sunset. Nothing could compare to this moment. I couldn't imagine a more perfect place, a more perfect kiss, the perfect person. I wouldn't trade her for the world.

—
Shoop. Been years seen y'all in two more.