Behind Closed Doors (Complete)

March

It had been 3 weeks since Shawn last left his door unlocked, which meant it had been 3 weeks since he last touched Camila, 3 weeks since the last time they had a conversation that consisted of something more than a grunt or a tut.

'I can't...' Shawn had translated as 'I wont' and by the number of times he heard her on the phone recently to Luis he had assumed she had decided 'she could' with someone else.

Slamming the refrigerator door shut, Shawn sat at the breakfast bar and drank his water whilst peeling his banana, a bitterness filling him the way it did on a daily basis, every time him mind found its self consumed by Camila

"Luis!"

Her voice penetrated the thin wall of her room and echoed around their apartment, that word, that name causing blood to rush Shawns brain and provoke a reaction he had been fighting for 3 weeks.

Slamming his bottle down he stormed through their apartment to Camilas room and threw open the door.

She was stood next to the window, phone in hand with tears trickling down her cheeks and dripping off her chin.

"I have to go" she whispers and then places her phone onto the window sill as she drops down onto her bed and rests her head in her hands

"He dump you?" He couldn't keep the pleasure from his voice but Camila didn't raise her head she just sniffed loudly. "Thought you didn't date"

"I don't" she whispered

"Luis?"

"It's not what you think, none of it's what you think. FUCK!!!!" Camila lifted her phone into the air and then launched it against the wall before immediately returning her head to her hands "I'm not who you think I am"

"You got that right"

"Shawn, sit down"

"Fuck that, I'm out of here"

"Shawn. SIT. DOWN." Her voice was so strong yet so fragile he stopped walking away and began walking towards her. Stopping at the edge of her bed but not taking the final step of sitting down

"I'm not Camila Cabello"

Shawn's heart stopped dead in his chest, this explanation was obviously going to be something way more than he could ever imagine "I'm not 19 years old either"

Finally Shawns legs gave in and he dropped down on to her bed next to her

"My name is Camila Cabello-Gomez, I'm 23 years old and I'm not dating Luis, Luis is my husband"

"You're married?!" Her statement slammed into Shawns brain like a sledgehammer

"Was"

"I don't understand"

"Luis was my first love, I dated him from I was 15, we did everything together, including senior prom. We didn't do anything more than kiss up until then but after prom he had booked a room and one thing led to another. It wasn't perfect but it was okay, you know?"

Her hand slowly crept backwards as her fingers met and then tangled into Shawns, he was so stunned by what he was hearing he didn't fight back. He let her hold him and he held her in return

"But unfortunately that old saying you can't get pregnant your first time wasn't true" Shawns head snapped up to grab Camilas gaze but hers was fixed solely on her thighs "I had a baby Shawn, 17 years old and a mother. All my plans went out the window, I didn't finish high school when I thought I would, didn't start college when I expected to instead I was home with a baby but inside... inside I was dying, my mind was decaying"

Shawn couldn't help but squeeze her hand, unsure if he understood or could come to terms with what she was saying but wanting desperately for her to know he was there

"Post natal depression is what they call it. A bad mother is what I was called. My baby, my beautiful daughter was taken from me and given to Luis, I was ill but I was deemed incapable of taking care of her"

"Camila..."

"When you hear me scream at him it isn't because we have broken up, that happened years ago, when you hear me use baby voices that's not him, that's my daughter, my baby that I'm allowed to see twice a year and talk to on the phone once a month"

"I'm so sorry" it was all Shawn could say as her situation slowly began to sink in

"I'm not a bad mom Shawn, I was ill and I have been judged and hung out to dry. My daughter barely knows me"

"She's missing out" was all Shawn could force out of his throat

"Luis is remarrying, he wants me to hand over custody so he and his new wife can raise my child"

"There's no way"

"How can I say no? I'm 23 and just starting college, I have a rented house with a room mate I hate... but I don't really hate, I have nothing to offer her"

"You have everything to offer her, you have you, you're her mother and that's all she will ever need"