33 Voices In My Head

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~Vixen~

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~Vixen~

         I couldn't remember the last time I cried before Rivers death. I've always numbed that side of myself, hated the thought of giving into that kind of emotion. I didn't even shed a tear when we buried my parents six feet into the ground. I loved my parents, or I would think I did. I believed in it—love— my parents proved to have loved each other. My father would have torn the world apart if it was what my mother would have wanted. I know I loved River, more than anything—he was my everything. When he died, it felt like the flood gates of that toxic little jar that I shoved all my past unshed tears into burst open and came out.

  I hated how weak it made me look. I hated that I couldn't just shut off the feelings and ignore the pang of sorrow I felt every time I thought of my deceased brother. I needed to channel my anger and hurt into something else for the time being. I needed to become cold and guarded as I used to be.

  That's why I am here. Standing in an octagon cage in an underground fighting event in the worst part of the city. My fists are cracked and caked with blood. My ribs burned from the after-effects of the blows I received from my last fight and I was lightheaded from the few punches I took. I cracked my neck side to side waiting for my next opponent.

 Back when I used to come here as a teenager to channel my feelings, I'd fight until I couldn't move anymore. I'd cross my limit ten folds to the point I would need medical assistance. River would yell and scream at me the whole way home to see our doctor and my vision would be cloudy with black spots from the pain but I'd never admitted I was in pain. I welcomed it because then I wouldn't need to feel anything else. I would focus on that burning and aching feeling and I wouldn't need to feel anything else. But now these fights aren't helping my emotions, the pain isn't taking over. I could still feel the pain in my heart and the frustration of these last few months taking their toll on me.

The chick who I was fighting next came into the cage and the MCs voice boomed from the loudspeakers around me.

"Alright, we got a special treat for you guys tonight!" The crowd around us cheered and screamed at us.

"Our reigning champion 'Annihilator' will be fighting the 'Blood Queen'." A few people booed at me, not that I minded. I wasn't here for recognition. "We watched her destroy her last two opponents—this should be a fight you won't want to miss! All bets close in two minutes, may the best fighter win!" The man left the cage and the guard locked the gate after him.

The 'Annihilator' spit at my feet and scowled at me. "Blood queen? Ambitious. You just got lucky in those last rounds. You're going to be begging me to spare you when I finish you."

I cocked a brow and grinned. "We'll see about that." I loosened my shoulders and prepared myself for the fight. As the bell dinged, we started dancing around each other.

She tried to swing at me but I blocked her move. "You're nothing here. Just a lowly peasant. I'm the reigning queen champion. I've never heard of you before, You're nothing bitch." She tried another blow but this time I blocked, spun, and landed my fist into her left ribs

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 12, 2021 ⏰

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