New York, Chicago

Chapter 30: Do I Have to Go?

Sitting in the passenger seat of Jays truck, I try not to pout. It's been a month since I've seen my dad and lashed out on him. Today, I have my first visit with him, supervised of course. Jay is accompanying my today.

Getting out of the car, Blue-Jay is walking on my right, while I cling to Jay's right arm. "Do I have to go? Why can't we avoid this for forever?"

"Me and grandpa will not let you avoid your dad Eli, and I'm right here. If he upsets you, we'll leave ASAP.  I promise you we won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable"  finally getting in the same page with Jay, I knock on my dads door.

——

"Come on in" Kelly was trying to hide how upset he was about having supervised visits with his daughter. But, if this is what it takes to see her, he'll try to overlook it.

As Elizabeth comes in, Blue-Jay is walking before her, scanning the room, but staying close enough just in case she needs him. "Who's this little guy?"

As Kelly pats the dogs head, Blue-Jay rubs his head against Elizabeth's lower leg. It's one of the many ways he tries to calm her down. "This is Blue-Jay, he's my service dog. I got him a month ago."

"Blue-Jay? Really?" Jay smoothly pulls his keys from his pocket, "wait by the door Eli, I'll be right behind you" sighing, Elizabeth takes the keys and heads for the door.

Jay looked to Kelly, hoping he can clear up whatever confusion the blue eyed man had. "That was the only dog Elizabeth connected with when she went. She didn't know his name until afterwards-"

"Why are always there!" Shaking his head at Kelly and telling him to keep his voice down, "I wasn't there. Adam, Kevin, and Kim went with her. I helped Hank and Doctor Charles with the things her dog would need to be specially trained in."

Kelly looks to Jay, lost for words. "She calls for you" confused, Jay is the one now looking lost. "When I went to see her after the kidnapping in the hospital, we got into an argument. I yelled at her, and she almost had an episode."

Kelly remembers the day like it was yesterday. It was the first time he had ever raised his voice at Elizabeth. He wasn't thinking straight, and I was causing him his relationship with his daughter. "She yelled back at me, and she called for you. Saying she wanted Jay, that you took time to understand her, and help her. I know that you care for her, but sometimes, it feels like I'm not the dad, and you are."

"I'm not the dad Severide, you are. I tell Elizabeth that everyday. She loves you man, she just is more open to talking to me. Nothing personal,"

Looking around the room, Jay realizes he's been gone for more than a few minutes, "look, we can try this again in a few days. I'm on your side, same with Erin. Elizabeth just needs time man, she's our gentle flower,"

"Is that why you call her poppy?" Smiling, Jay turns to head for the door, "not quite, it's something deeper than that."

——

Looking back and forwards between Adam and Kevin, I give my final answer. "No" Of course, Adam gets upset. "Come on Le-Le, he only listens to you!"

Getting down on his knees and repeating 'please', I hit Adam's shoulder. "I just asked for a dog, you gotta give it time before I ask for something else! And this isn't for me!"

Adam and Kevin want me to advocate for them to get a break room, with a pinball machine in it. Of course, they agreed to put a bed in there, for me only, seeing as if the couch in grandpas office isn't as comfortable as the one at home. "Elizabeth, let's go"

Grabbing my small book bag, which has snacks and my computer for school, I grab Blue-Jays leash and follow grandpa to his Cadillac. "Grandpa, Adam wants a bigger break room, but you didn't hear it from me."

Zipping his lips, grandpa plays along, sending me a small smile. "Of course he does, where do you want to eat dinner? No pizza"

Before I could try and make my case on pizza, I remember that we've had pizza the last five nights. "Can we do Chinese food?" Agreeing, we stop by and pick some up before going home.

Arriving, I notice Erin's car. Walking to the door, I unlock it and look around for Erin. Not finding her, I head into the kitchen to see grandpa grabbing plates. "Where's Erin, papa?"

Looking at me, confused, grandpa goes on to ask me why I am looking for Erin. "Her car is parked outside. Figured she was here."

Disregarding what I said, grandpa gives me some type of lie before I finally let it go, and sit down to eat.

"Do you want to talk about what happened earlier today?" Looking up to my grandfather, I decide to play my own little game as well, "can you tell me why Erins car is parked outside?"

Knowing that I won't give up, eat my food, or tell about how I feel until he answer me, he gives me the honest truth. "Erin and Jay went on a date...so she dropped her car off here. She wants to make you breakfast tomorrow morning for you birthday. Act surprised in the morning princess."

Nodding my head, I playfully zip my lips and began to tell my grandfather how I feel. "It's just, I sometimes wish Jay was my dad. I know Kelly is trying his best, and I know that he's new to this, but Jay is like my safe heaven, and I feel the safest with him and Kevin. When I'm around your unit, I feel like I can be myself. Same when I'm at Med with Will, Maggie, and Ethan. When I'm at 51, I feel like I'm on eggshells and that someone is gonna yell about how it's not a place for kids. I feel as safe with Jay as I feel with you. I really do wish Jay was my dad, he acts like he is, and he treats me like I'm his daughter. I don't know why, but that's how I feel papa. it's just like that. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for sweetheart, you feel the way you feel." Seeing that at this moment in time, grandpa is in a good, thoughtful mood

"Does this mean there will be a bigger break room so I can have a bed?"