Reckless Love

The way i loved you

"Wow so your with Nick?" Alex says, leaning back completely shocked.

"Yeah, we've been together 4 months" I say.
After last night, I realized something.

I don't know if I even really love Nick.

I think maybe I'm just love the idea of him. Maybe I'm just scared to be alone.

"What about ya know?" Alex says. I know exactly what he means.

"I'm over him and I'm happy, so that's that"

"That's good, I'm happy for you"

"Okay now tell me all about you and wills, cause he is head over heels for you!" I say, rolling over on my side.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, really. He doesn't shut up about you"

Me and Alex spent the whole night talking. We watched rom-coms, ate loads of ice cream, and screamed taylor swift at the top of our lungs.

I missed Alex, like a lot.

The next day
So I've been doing a lot of thinking. The kind where your mind wanders to the most crazy of places. Where you relive your whole life.

I've been doing that thinking.

Here's the thing about Nick. It's absolutely, positively nothing like Luke. I don't just mean the personality. Sometimes, I guess I miss Luke.

Luke had a way with himself. Once we really knew eachother, I was never adored to be myself around him. I wasn't insecure. It's not like that with Nick, I'm constantly nervous around him. I don't know how to act.

Another thing is, I knew that Luke loved me. He reminded me how special I was to him.

Then again, he left. So maybe he didn't.

But I always really thought he did. I remember those nights where I'd run over everything I said to him. I was so angry, I didn't realize how awful I was. I didn't even give him a chance.

All he wanted was a chance. A chance to change

I'm cleaning out my closet when Nick comes in.

"Oh hey babe" I say. He bends down to me and gives me a quick kiss.

"Hey babe, I'm gonna take Carlos to the beach if that's okay? He's been dying to go"

"Oh yeah sure, bye I love you"

"Love u" he says and walks out. I continue digging through my closet, throwing clothes everywhere. I see a bag and pull it. Something falls out.

My old music journal. The one I wrote with mom and the Luke

My sunset curve CD. When I went to there first big gig.

Luke's sweatshirt. The one he gave me when he first kissed on the beach, the rain pouring down on us. Not that we cared.

I dig through the bag, but that's all it is. I feel tears on my face that I didn't even realize I was crying. I quickly wipe them off and run downstairs, out to the garage. I pull out the doors and dust hits me in the face, making me cough.

I walk into the garage, it looks like a memory. Another life.

I curse myself for how much I've let go. My mom would be so disappointed.

I sit down on the couch and pull out a pen. I start writing, just letting out all my feelings.

2 hours later
I walk to the piano, I set the book up and take a deep breath.

(Pretend it's says brother in place of mom and dad)
I sing my heart out, pouring my soul into the music like I once did. I feel everything empty out of me as I sing.

Once i stop, I take a deep breath. I realize that's pouring rain outside.

It's like always raining. I wonder if Nick and Carlos are back yet.

I take in the silence until.....

I hear clapping, I look up, scared and just like that my whole world changes....

He's back.

A/n: and that's a wrap :) it's already the end of this story🥺

Teehee -R