Flame [h.s.]

33| Lose you to love me

I saw the signs and I ignored it
Rose-colored glasses all distorted
Set fire to my purpose
And I let it burn
You got off on the hurtin'
When it wasn't yours, yeah

Olivia

I hated being back home.

I'm surrounded by bad memories all around me, even if I still haven't left my mom's house since I got here last night. Every time I come back here I try to convince myself it won't be as bad as I think it will, but I quickly realize that isn't the truth. As soon as we got home yesterday I pretended to be tired and immediately came into my room only to remain awake for long hours unable to sleep. Just thinking I will have to spend another two days in here is enough to cause my heart to jump out of my chest.

It was now Christmas Eve and I was dreading leaving my warm narrow bed where I slept all throughout my childhood and my teenage years, except on those nights I used to sneak out which were more than what I like to admit. I could hear the noise of my nephew George running around downstairs mixing with the noise of my mom starting to cook for tonight and for tomorrow.

Ugh, can I hide under the blankets for the next two days?

"Olivia!" My mom's annoying voice calls me for the second time this morning meaning if she calls me a third time, she will come here personally to drag me by an ear.

She knows I'm awake, there is no way I would be able to sleep with this much noise. My family started their day at seven in the morning and there wasn't a quiet moment ever since. Still, I have been able to hide under the covers for the past three hours, now I don't think I can remain here much longer.

Slowly, I push the heavy blankets away from my body revealing the not very appealing pyjama I was wearing during the night. Well, there's no one here I want to impress, certainly not with posters of guys I have adored throughout my teenage years looking at me on the opposite wall. I roll my eyes planning to rip the old and worn out paper from the wall today, something I should have done many years ago.

I don't bother changing clothes before heading out of my bedroom into the bathroom I will be sharing with my brother and his family as well as my mom for the next two days. Thankfully I don't cross paths with anyone on my way there, simply doing what I have to do inside the bathroom as well as brushing my teeth hoping there is something good to eat downstairs.

As I walk down the stairs, the noise of George playing and the noise of plates and glasses being put away becomes louder and louder when I finally reach the last step looking over at my family all staring back at me as if I was some sort of freak. Sarah and Caleb were on the sofa while George was running around as if he had drunk three cups of coffee, on the other side, inside the kitchen my mom had a kitchen towel over her shoulder, her hands placed on her hips looking seriously at me.

"Finally! I told you how I needed your help today, there's so much to do." I roll my eyes seeing how she doesn't need help otherwise she would have asked my brother or his wife for it.

"Good morning to you too." I sigh walking over to the kitchen seeing a plate of mince pies which I decide it's what I will be eating for breakfast. However, before my fingers can touch the still hot pies my mom slaps away my hand stopping me.

"Don't even think about it Olivia, these are for tonight." I roll my eyes at her comment even if I was already expecting it.

"No one will notice one is missing." I shrug but I don't dare touching the precious mince pies again afraid I will lose a finger if I do so. Instead, I walk past the warm baked good and open the bread cabinet where I take the package of white bread to toast it before eating it.