A White Rabbit in Summer

Honestly Bily

March 9

I want to tell my parents about my trip, but I can't let them know before I'm gone or they might try to stop me. I'm going to leave them a note. It's the best I can do. I'm honestly not sure what to tell them. I don't know how long I'm going to be gone. Maybe two weeks. Please let the royals know that I'm coming. I need to be able to get through the Magical Castle quickly. Though I have more than a few things to say to them.

I can't believe they tortured Aden. He's my friend, shouldn't that be enough? I guess it might've been if I walked in with him, but if I had, Aden wouldn't have needed to come here in the first place.

Gotta go, Aden showed up.

March 10

Tiff's party is in a couple hours. What do you wear to a first party that might be your last? Tiff's at an away game, so no one really wants to go see them play. I might've gone if I had a car, but I got too much to do.

Bily and I talked at lunch. She was practically waiting for me at my locker. She didn't have to say anything. I knew from the look on her face that she wanted to talk to me about Aden. We went to an alley between the bungalows. She looked like she wanted to slap me.

"I met up with the other Jaden," I told her.

"I ran into him last night."

"Ah."

Then we were back to a drawn out awkward silence. She was in so much pain.

"What kind of a monster just steals somebody's life?"

"I didn't steal-"

"Then what would you call it?!"

"I'm still your friend, Lily. All of your memories with Holly, I had those memories too."

"I don't think you did. The Holly that I knew never would've stolen somebody's life. They wouldn't have left-" Bily cut herself off. She couldn't finish her thought with the tears threatening to come back.

I tried to comfort her.

Bily smacked my arm. "Don't [f-word] touch me! I should've known something was up when you never brought up the Magicals! I just thought that you'd finally let go, but that wasn't it at all. She..." She fell back against the wall and started to cry.

It broke my heart that I couldn't reach out and hug her. I wanted to take away her pain.

"This is worse. This is so much worse than what I had to deal with before." She said between sobs. "She's gone and it's like you're wearing her face! I have to accept the fact that my best friend is dead, that she took her life, and I'll never really know why! And you..." Lily shoved me back against the wall. "You come in here like a [g-word] [d-word] ghoul and steal her life! What was it for?! Why would you hurt us like this? Why would you hurt me! Don't you care about how your friends feel?"

"Of course I do, Lily! That's why I came-"

"Bull[s-word]! You still left me! You left them to think that you're dead, but you weren't! You ran off to act like you'd come back from the dead and for what? Why would you put Jaden, your Jaden, through all of that?! Why would you hurt your Lily like this?!"

She pushed me again, at least once more. I didn't try to stop her. I wouldn't have stopped her if she slapped me or punched me. She deserved some catharsis, no matter how small.

"Answer me!"

"It's like-"

"Speak up!"

I was so scared and ashamed that my hands were shaking. "I wasn't happy. I hadn't been happy in a very long time. I was different. Everyone else, they had normal school drama and stuff with their parents and their friends to worry about. I'd seen people die. I'd been a part of their deaths. I walked into the minds of rapists and killers and saw all their deepest worst thoughts and I came out of it and had to pretend that everything was okay and it wasn't.