A White Rabbit in Summer

Homecoming

March 17

It's always sad leaving the Magical Castle. I can't help but cry when I have to leave my friends behind. It's strange that Princess Platypus is among those friends now, but honestly, she might be my closest friend now. When we hugged goodbye it didn't feel weird. She really wants me to get my wand back and find happiness on Earth. I wish she could have that happiness too. Maybe if I get my wand and Finn's wand, I can collect all of the wands and use them to give Princess Platypus a human body. I think she'd like that. Do you think King Walrus and Queen Nephilia would let me do that? She's a good person, she deserves a chance to live a life too.

We're okay by the way. Aden and I are waiting for Aily to come home. I keep thinking of Aden as Jad, as my Jad. He's the man I fell in love with and I can see that now. When his anger cools and he talks to me like a fellow human being, I remember how calm he was. There's this sorrow in his eyes that makes me want to take his hand and cheer him up. Only I can't do that anymore. He's so different from Baden. I wish I knew what changed Baden.

I've been thinking about what Aden said last night on the balcony. He said that before I disappeared he thought about love in a different way, like it was a feeling or an event. Aden used to think that love was this thing that you could kind of trick yourself into feeling. Which Jaden did Bolly have to deal with before she gave up hope?

So if Aden thought that love was just this feeling that came and went depending on if he was happy, Fifi was the only thing making him happy. She was comforting him and he thought, "she's making me feel good. I must be in love with her." That makes sense when I think about what Baden said about her. He said that he loved her, but the more time he spent with me, the more he realized that he loved me more. I was special to him. I was always special to him.

It sucks that I know Aden was talking about me last night, but I can't help it. I spent all of this time getting to know Baden. I was always special to him. He loved me before I even killed myself, he's told me that so many times. If Aden never got over that special someone, that means he still loves me, right? It has to!

Ah! I feel like this is getting confusing again, and not just because I don't know if Aden loves me or not, but because I don't want to call him Aden. I should've asked you about this when I had the chance, Diary. I know that how I was explaining things was working, but this is my Jad! He's always been mine.

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When Aily got home, she started crying. She went right to Aden and hugged him tight. They hugged for like over a minute. I had to just stand there and wait for their little reunion to be done. She looks different now. Her hair is longer, but it's kind of messier. She's just wearing it in a really ugly ponytail. I mean, I've seen mourning Lily from world B, but she looks different. More frazzled, but less haunted.

Aily said hello by slapping me.

Like, gee, thanks. Good to see you too.

She hugged me right after the slap and told me. "Don't you ever do something like that to me again."

I apologized. I apologized a lot and my face feels raw from all the crying I did. Aily's really mad at me for disappearing. I thought she wouldn't be that upset because she knew I wasn't really dead, but I guess she had her doubts. We kind of laughed about how I had a black eye from one Aily and swollen cheek from the other.

Aden made me tell Aily why I took off.

She didn't get mad. She didn't really say anything, she just went quiet. I told her about Fifi and Baden and about how Tiff and I were becoming good friends, but how the Bily hated me because she found out that I wasn't the Holly she'd known. I even told her about how Baden had cheated on me with Fifi and how I don't really know if he liked me or if he just wanted us to have sex and she didn't react to any of it. Finally, I just kind of trailed off.