dear diary

chapter 39

dear diary,

the week has gone by pretty quickly, and some pretty surprising things happened. it turns out mackenzie wasn't lying. she showed up to school everyday this week in jeans and a sweatshirt, a shocking change from her normal clothes. she also sported a smile and gave out a few compliments, shocking pretty much everyone.

i spent a lot of my time after school with Chase, and my mother. mark has been around a lot more, I think things are really starting to pick up between them which is something im not sure how i feel about.

im glad she's happy, after all im the reason she can't be with her husband. although, i worry that she may be rushing in to things without considering the outcomes. then again her possible outcome isn't quite as bad as mine.

i still can't help but continue to dwell on it. the possibility of my fathers return, and what it would mean for my life here. everything has been so good, im honestly waiting for the rug to be pulled from beneath me when im not expecting it.

on another note, the due date for my speech is getting closer. i haven't even started it yet, because i have no idea what i want to talk about.

perfection, a word that im not even sure how to define in my own words. literally, something perfect has no flaws. im not sure such a thing exists, not in my world at least.

the closest thing to perfect to me is my relationship with Chase, and the rest of my friends. can i even write about that?

the speech is due next Wednesday, and today is Friday already. i have little time to write mine, and Chase told me he's already halfway done with his.

should i write about what it means literally? the assignment is to write about what perfection means to you, but what if i don't have an answer?

I shut my diary in frustration, because my lack of motivation to write for psych is also present in my diary. I've been writing at least once a day this week, but the closer I get to filling the book the less I have to write down. I don't want to cheat my way to the end, so I figure it's best to let it come naturally than to force my pen to the paper.

School ended about two hours ago, and I've been sitting at home trying to write this damn speech ever since. I'm probably just going to end up writing about my life here, and how it is perfect to me in the sense that it's the best thing I've had in a while.

I'll probably get a shitty grade, but it is what it is at this point.

My phone silences my thoughts as a steady rhythm of vibrations shakes the bed. I pick it up and see Chases name on the screen, answering the call and bringing my phone to my ear.

"Hey, what's up?" I ask, putting my diary in my drawer and laying down on my bed.

"Our place for the sunset later?"

A smile creeps onto my lips as my fingers play with a loose thread, and I nod until remembering he can't see me.

"Are you nodding?" He asks, and I can hear his grin through the phone.

"I am."

"Perfect, I'll pick you up around 6 then," he says, and I nod again before he chuckles and ends the call.

I have a few things to do around the house while I wait for Chase, so I spend the time doing laundry and washing whatever dishes are left in the sink.

Six o'clock rolls around eventually, and I hear a knock at the door and walk over to greet Chase. He holds a small basket in his hand, and a bottle of what looks like sparking cider in the other.