dear diary

chapter 42

Dear diary,

Today is the calm before the storm. Dinner with Chases parents is tomorrow, and I feel like I'm more nervous than he is.

Meeting your significant others parents is always a big deal, but the circumstances for the both of us are so fucked up.

His abandoned him, and mine... I've written that story a thousand times.

Chase and I spent yesterday in his room, snuggled in his bed talking about everything except for the fact he suffered his first loss the night before.

I tried and tried to bring it up, because I figured talking about it may help, but he deflected each attempt and changed the subject every time.

I'm a little nervous for school today, his face is the worst it's ever been and I have my own bruises. I don't even want to know the assumptions people will be making about us.

I'm also nervous for Chases scrimmage after school today, because he was having trouble simply walking to the bathroom yesterday because of the damage done to his stomach.

After seeing how rough the lacrosse games can get, nervous is an understatement.

There's also been other things on my mind, like how Chase basically told me how strongly his feelings towards me are. It was really reassuring, and I found it really easy to admit the same thing to him.

I just hope that today goes by smoothly, and that dinner tomorrow isn't a complete shit show.

Things have been so good, up until last night, and I'm just hoping the change in pace isn't permanent.

I put my pen away and close my diary, looking at the clock and realizing I've left myself less than fifteen minutes to get ready for school.

I curse under my breath as I stand, walking to my closet and grabbing a pair of loose fitting jeans and a sweater. I plan to have my sleeves bunched up and covering my knuckles for the day, if not the week.

The bruises are pretty dark, and the cut is still fresh. It hurts to flex my knuckles, but I've dealt with worse pain and there's no use in complaining about it.

After I'm dressed and sure everything I need for school is in my bag, I make my way towards my car.

In the fifteen minutes it takes me to reach school, my thoughts are thankfully drowned out by the radio that's blaring. I've been thinking a lot lately, about an array of things, and if I'm being honest I just want it to stop.

Headache after headache, my mind will not stop it's running. Spending yesterday with Chase was something I thought would distract me, but even as we were sharing intimate moments together I couldn't stop my mind from being elsewhere. Whether it was imagining sitting in his parents house tomorrow, or back on the concrete with his bloody head in my hands, it's been a constant mess.

Chase lost and will not talk about it with me. He said he was short on money, so what does this loss mean? He's in no condition to pick up another fight, and that's his only money maker.

I shake my head and rest my forehead against the steering wheel, taking a deep breath before cutting the engine and stepping outside.

"Delaney," I hear someone call me, and look to my right to see Tyler approaching. So fucking persistent I cannot stand it, how else do I relay the message to him that I'm uninterested? I have a boyfriend for gods sake.

"What?" I ask, my tone as cold as ice as I keep walking and force his feet to meet my pace.

"I'd just like to know why you dislike me so much," he mutters, and I can't help but feel a little bad. There isn't really a reason, besides the fact he's a dick to Chase and doesn't know when to leave me alone. Hm, I guess there is a reason.