dear diary

chapter 47

My head is throbbing.

I knew I was going to be hungover the second I drank my fifth cup, but I am a lot more hungover than I wanted to be. I'm just hoping that painkillers and some water will disguise it a little bit.

Chase, on the other hand, is completely fine. He woke me up a few minutes ago, covering every inch of my face with kisses until I rolled over and actually gave him one back. I'm sure my breath was nothing short of atrocious, but he didn't seem to mind.

It was a struggle getting dressed, between my choice of skinny jeans and having a pounding headache. Chase offered to dress me, like the 'gentleman' he is, but I refused. I still have a shred of dignity left, and it would be completely gone if I let him dress me after a night of drinking.

How he isn't the least bit hungover I'm not sure. He didn't drink as much as me, since his dares got a lot easier, which is pretty unfair. I need to be on my a-game today in psychology, and with this headache and the bags under my eyes still prominent I'm not sure that's possible.

On another note, Chase has been acting completely normal around me, which proves that the three words I thought I heard him mumble last night were in fact part of some dream I was having. Part of me sort of hoped to wake up and hear him say them again, this time to my face. But, as history shows, life just isn't that good.

I think Blaire got in my head during the lacrosse practice, when she had made the comment about Chase loving me. I hadn't been able to stop thinking about it for the rest of the day, so to be honest I'm not that shocked that it was just a dream.

Chase and I drove to Matt's together last night, so we have to stop at my house for my car before going to school since I'm supposed to do something with my mother right after school today. She told me that she would be home from work early, and now that I think about it I should probably start asking her more questions.

After I finally get dressed, and Chase is ready to go, we leave the house and Chase drives me to mine. We get there pretty quickly, and I have just enough time to grab my car and things for school.

I go inside, make sure there's no note for me on the counter and grab my things. I won't be surprised if Matt and Mackenzie aren't in school today, because I'm pretty sure I heard one of them throwing up as we left the house.

Blaire is already in English when I get there, a bright smile on her face considering she is hangover free, just like Chase and Ethan. I seemed to have the worst luck last night, because as the game continued I got dealt the shittiest dares. Some of them were things I've never even heard of, so I ended up drinking way more than I should've.

"How you feeling?" Blaire asks as I slump down into my seat, my headache better than it was thanks to the pills I took, but it's still there.

"Been better, been worse," I say with a shrug, rubbing my temples before grabbing my books and setting my attention on the teacher. Today is an easy day, thank god, all we have to do is read chapters 4-7, and then write a reflection paragraph.

Calculus, on the other hand, managed to bring my headache back. I was actually counting the seconds until the period ended, it was that bad.

Now I'm in line for lunch, and my stomach is starting to flip. I'm getting nervous for psychology, because I've never really been great at standing in front of people and speaking. My speech is pretty boring, so I'm kind of hoping everyone just goes on their phones and the teacher is the only one who stares at me.

I am excited to hear Chases speech, though. I feel the same way about it that I do about his second note in my diary, because he refused to let me read it. I don't know what it could even be about, considering he doesn't believe in perfection.