dear diary

chapter 43

After my revelation while watching the scrimmage, I'm nervous to go to Chases house. I don't want to accidentally blurt something I shouldn't, so I don't plan on thinking about or bringing up the word love at all tonight. Not that I would have anyway, but I need to be extra careful at this point. My resolve leaves me when he's around, and I wouldn't be shocked if I say something that I don't want to.

I'm supposed to leave for his house in fifteen minutes, and I've spent the rest of the day trying to work on this speech, but failing. My mind has been elsewhere, like it always is these days. The speech is due in two days now, and it needs to be at least decent considering it's the final project for the unit and I need to present it to the class. I'd like to prevent complete embarrassment, so I'm hoping Chase will take the lead and just write the damn thing for me.

I leave my clothes on from earlier and make sure I have what I need for the speech, making my way downstairs and having a quick snack before grabbing my keys and going to Chases.

He answers the door on the third knock, pulling me inside and wrapping his arms around me less than five seconds after the door closes. I hug him back, letting my bag fall to the floor as his hands run up and down my back.

"Hi," I mumble into his shoulder, a smile on my face as he pulls back slowly.

"Hi," he answers with a smile of his own, the cut on his jaw flexing as he grins at me. I try to ignore the damage on his face, which isn't easy, but there's no point in making it obvious I can't stop staring at it. "Did you get any more of the speech done?"

I shake my head, walking further into the house and throwing myself down on his couch. "I'm doomed, I have no idea what to write about. I was thinking maybe you could... write it for me?" I say with a shy smile, trying to persuade him.

"Hm, no. I'll help you, but I can't write it for you, Del. It's what you consider perfection to be, not me," he says, and I frown with a huff.

"I don't know what I consider perfection to be, that's the issue here," I answer, and he chuckles before sitting down on the couch and pulling me onto his lap.

"I don't believe in perfection, and I still found something to write about. You got this, just don't overthink it and write," he says, his hands on my hips as I sit face to face with him. Being this close to him is completely intoxicating, as it always is.

I roll off of him and land on the floor with a thud, letting out a dramatic groan before standing and grabbing my backpack. I pull out my laptop, open the document and stare the cursor as Chase watches my fingers sit completely still.

"My knuckles hurt when I type, are you sure you don't wanna do it for me?" I beg, but he just laughs and shakes his head.

"Your knuckles don't move when you type, I've had plenty of experience with busted hands. You got this," he says, seeing right through my lie.

I throw my head back with another groan, but eventually start typing. I decide to write about where I am today compared to where I used to be, in an appropriate amount of detail considering I can't exactly be honest, and eventually I have my speech done.

"See? Was that so hard?" Chase teases from beside me as I shut my laptop, relaxing against the couch.

"Yes, actually it was hard," I mumble back, watching his lips quirk upwards into a smile.

Just seeing him sitting there, smiling at me has my stomach knotting and goosebumps spreading on my skin.

"How's your stomach?" I ask, my eyes drifting down his torso and burning a hole through his shirt where I know his skin is bruised.