"Looks like you're his next victim."
"Jesus Nova, didn't your mum ever warn you about creatures like me?! I'm not good for you and I'll end up ruining you or killing you!"
He wasn't human. There was nothing human about him. His blood was cold and hi...
"To appear sad With the same old decent lazy eye Fixed to rest on you Aim free but so untrue"
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Nova
I don't think I'll ever forget my first day at the facility. It's just something my brain won't let go and I know years from now, if I'm still alive, I'll still replay the entire day in my head. I'll still feel the frigid air, the feeling of latex gloves on my skin, and the feeling of never being entirely free from my consuming thoughts.
My first day at the facility had to be one of the worst days in my life. While my life consisted of mainly terrible ones after my dad died, going to the facility has to be ranked at number three. My dad dying is number one and Drew assaulting me followed by me ultimately killing him is number two. I've had shitty days, days where I wish I was in Drew's place and wasn't able to feel the unbearable pain in my chest. There are days where I wish Judy and Mason had a better friend, someone who would be happier and more of a stable friend.
There are even days that I have to question my own happiness and what I feel when I'm around Harry. Deep down, there's a little voice telling me that I'm undeserving of this feeling that has been consuming me for the past weeks. I don't believe in love because love is cruel and selfish and ends up tearing you apart. In the back of my mind, I know this because everyone who I loved is either disappointed in me or is gone.
So, I know I don't believe in true love and having a soulmate, but Harry's doing a really terrible job at making me push away the mushy-gushy, lovey-dovey thoughts that have been swirling around my head these last weeks.
But like I said, I'll never forget my first day when my mom dropped me off at the front of New Hope of Springfield. She didn't even get out of the car to walk me inside, she didn't even have the decency to unbuckle her seatbelt. She just put her sunglasses on and looked forward while the nurses ushered me into a wheelchair. I didn't need a wheelchair to begin with, my legs worked just fine despite the nasty bruises, yet they insisted that's how I enter.
I remember waiting for my mom to turn around and tell me something along the lines of 'I love you, see you soon,' or even 'I'll miss you,' but the only thing that came out of her mouth was, "Nova, I expect you to rethink your decision about college while you're here."
I had told her my plan to not return to college on the way to the facility, trying to reason with her and explain that it would be too hard for me to go back after something so traumatic. There's no way I could return and just sit in my philosophy class and look at the empty seat next to me knowing exactly why it's vacant. I couldn't pretend that someone who I thought of as a friend, was a disgusting human being that would have one-hundred percent raped me if I didn't get away. How could I even return if Drew did get his way with me and was still alive afterward?
My mom only got furious with me for denying the extended absence from the dean and only told me how my education came first and if I wanted to be a big baby about it, I obviously didn't need her help with rent for the apartment or anything else. My own mother blackmailing me to get what she wants, as always.
